Saturday, October 30, 2004

Sebuah Pertemuan di Indianapolis, IN, 2001



Aku rindukan kawan-kawan aku dalam batch ATU One. ATU One ni sebenarnya program ke American Top Universities yang kerajaan mulakan semula lepas krisis ekonomi pada tahun 1997. Kami antara kumpulan pertama yang dikumpulkan oleh PETRONAS untuk dihantar semula ke US. Asalnya ada 33 orang, tapi sayang dua telah gugur. Baik gugur dari kumpulan kami, mahu pun juga gugur dari agama Islam kita. Kasihan...



Setiap tahun semua pelajar tajaan PETRONAS akan dikumpulkan di sebuah hotel bagi program informasi PETRONAS. Kami akan didedahkan kepada budaya korporat PETRONAS, aspirasi PETRONAS dan juga prestasi PETRONAS yang terkini. Bagi semua scholars yang akan graduate, diorang akan ditemuduga oleh Vice President PETRONAS bahagian Human Resource Management sendiri beserta General Manager dari anak syarikat PETRONAS yang lain. Aku pun dah go through process ni pada bulan 4 yang lepas, interview dengan VP di Delaware dulu.



Tapi kebanyakan daripada kami sebenarnya bukan berminat sangat nak datang program macam tu, melainkan kerana nak jumpa kawan-kawan dan juga nak makan sedap. Maklumlah, makan di hotel. Silap haribulan dapat catering makanan halal lagi. Tu yang sedap tu!



Bila dah lama tak jumpa, mesti banyak cerita/gossip/umpat/fitnah dan yang se parallel dengannya yang nak dikongsi bersama. Antara aktiviti yang lain dibuat semasa bertemu bersama ialah berjalan-jalan hauskan tapak kasut, makan-makan, shopping dan mengambil gambar.



Tapi most of the time aku rasa, kitorang banyak habiskan masa dengan berbual sesama sendiri. Instead of dengar penceramah sibuk bagi briefing pasal PETRONAS, kitorang sibuk update sesama sendiri, mamat ni dengan minah tuh, minah tu break up ngan mamat ni, awek si mamat tuh dah nak tunang dah, mamat tu teringin nak kawen. Typical kan? Nak buat camner, sesi ni hanya jadi sekali dalam masa setahun ajer. So, gimme a break la kan?



Seronok sebenarnya jumpa kawan-kawan. Maklumlah, batch aku tak ramai. Sikit ajer. Bila keluar, dengan orang-orang tu jugaklah. Bila buat kenduri makan-makan, jemput orang-orang tu jugaklah. Bila buat program agama, jemput orang-orang yang sama jugaklah. Pendek kata, semuanya sehati sejiwa, seia sekata. Seronok, rasa macam adik beradik. Cuma kurang sekehan dan suwingan ajer.



Sekarang ni, rata-ratanya ramai yang dah bekerja di Malaysia. Ada juga yang bekerja di US tapi aku tak boleh disclose kat sini. Nanti PETRONAS kejar diorang, payah wooo! Nak backing kawan punya pasal la katakan. Insya Allah penghujung tahun ni aku akan join diorang, and hopefully dapat jumpa la semua-semuanya and boleh buat aktiviti-aktiviti menarik bersama. Ameen.
Bila Hati Kosong

Ramai yang bertanya, kenapa tak ber update blog ni. Terus terang katakan, tuan punya blog rasa makin tak selesa dengan diri sendiri, and makin tak selesa untuk menulis. Tuan punya blog sebelum ni rasa sangat senang bila datang mood menulis, tapi hari demi hari minat untuk menulis makin banyak menjauhkan diri. Apa lagi bila sebenarnya hati berat untuk menulis. Sudahnya, otak penuh dengan pelbagai fikiran yang kadang-kadang, merusuhkan keadaan.



Banyak sebenarnya yang mahu diceritakan. Cerita dari pelbagai sudut, warna-warna kehidupan tuan punya blog yang makin lama makin sampai ke penghujung kanvasnya di sini. Cerita politik US, cerita jiwang dan blues diri sendiri, cerita sepak terajang dunia akademik, cerita politik 'boleh saja' M'sia - pendek kata, macam-macam mahu diceritakan. Tapi hati ini tersekat. Tersumbat. Berkeladak sampai tak dapat nak keluarkan apa-apa.

Sudahnya dihamburkan saja di dalam hati. Terbiar macam tu, lesu dan sepi. Sesepi 'jalan-sepi' blog ni. Haa, eloklah tu. Kena sangat dah.

Sekarang ni tidur malam pun makin tak lena sebenarnya. Acapkali bila jam berdenting tengah malam, tuan punya blog masih lagi tersedar. Mata tak mahu lelap. Berjagalah sampai santak subuh. Bila siang datang, mata pun penat. Badan pun lesu. Jiwa? Toksah kata lah, pancet terus. Rasa-rasanya, mata ni dah jadi makin sepet macam apek, seolah-olah mata kawan tuan punya blog waktu sekolah rendah dulu, si Ng Li Peng. Tapi mestilah mata Li Peng lagi cantik, mata tuan punya blog ni macam mata burung hantu dah. Bulat dan menakutkan!

Idea Bisnes

Percaya atau tidak, tuan punya blog sekarang tengah berura-ura nak mula bisnes kek. Bukan sekarang lah, tapi perancangan bila balik dari mengaji di Amerika ni. Cadangnya, mahu bantu mak ayah. Maklumlah, sedar keluarga bukan dari golongan orang berada, jadi mahu cari duit poket lebih sedikit untuk bantu mak ayah. Kebetulan, ayah pun dah pencen bulan ni. Insya Allah dengan buat bisnes kek kecil-kecilan, harap-harap dapat bantu kewangan keluarga. Hmm..siapa nak jadi tukang buat kek nya? Mestilah mak tuan punya blog. Tuan punya blog insya Allah akan bantu mengotorkan tangan juga. Boleh lah nak test sikit, tengok kalau-kalau bakat membuat kek mak ada tempias sedikit-sedikit pada diri sendiri. Siapa nak jadi delivery man nyer? Ayah la kot, sebab dia pun pencen tak ada buat apa di rumah. Lagi pun, dia memang pandai selok belok jalan di KL. Ke ceruk mana yang dia tak pernah sampai, semua dah pernah pergi. Nama pun bekas anggota polis, kan?



Idea untuk berniaga kek ni dapat dari kawan tanpa muka, si Jaja dari Uniten. Tambah pulak dengan cerita-cerita dari kawan-kawan yang selalu order kek dari kawan-kawan yang buat bisnes kek ni, dengar cerita lumayan. Tak apa, keuntungan tu jadi satu dorongan. Tapi dorongan yang lebih lagi, nak bantu keluarga. Dan nak dapat pengalaman berniaga. Kecil-kecilan pun jadi, asalkan kita mulakan sesuatu.

Tapi ni masih lagi di peringkat idea. Belum di peringkat perlaksanaan. Banyak perkara yang mesti dibincangkan, baik dengan adik beradik dan mak ayah. Kalau ada sesiapa yang berminat nak jadi customer, pun bolehlah siap-siap bagitau apa yang nak diorderkan. Target masa untuk dilancarkan idea ni tak tentu lagi. Insya Allah bila dah sampai kat M'sia, boleh cerita banyak lagi.

Rasanya takat tu ajer. Hati dah tak tahu nak cerita apa lagi. Tersendat sendiri. Mungkin kalau lena sekejap, dapat bantu legakan kesendatan ini. Kita jumpa esok lusa pulak, ok?

Friday, October 29, 2004

Saudara Baru



Alhamdulillah Mak Long Kesuma telah melahirkan seorang bayi perempuan yang sangat comel, namanya Nuha Safiyyah pada 4 Oktober yang lalu. Geram sungguh tengok gambar si Nuha Safiyyah ni. Kakaknya, Nuha Awadah pun aku tak sempat nak tengok, nak peluk nak dukung, dah keluar sorang lagi.

Ni yang buat aku lagi tak sabar nak balik M'sia; nak jumpa makcik kesayangan aku! And of course, nak jumpa sepupu-sepupu baru.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Spinning Clock Lie

(I received this from my dear friend from high school, Al Amin Hassan aka Amonque, read it. Worth your time)

An Indian man died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the heaven Gate Siva the God said, "Come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here."

Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse.

Surprised at how heaven looked, the man asked, "God Siva, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?" God Siva replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth tells a lie, his clock moves
one minute."

"For instance, this clock is for Aru, the used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move." "Click." The minute hand on Aru's clock moved one minute. "Click." It moved another minute. "Aru must be into closing a customer right now," said God Siva. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day."

The man and God Siva continued walking. Soon, they came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man. "That clock belongs to the Widow Achi. She is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. I bet her clock hasn't moved in a year or two."

They continued walking and touring heaven. The man enjoyed watching the clocks of all his friends. When the tour was finished, the man said, "I've seen everyone's clock but Mr.Samy Vellu's. Where is his clock? God Siva smiled, "Just look up. We use his clock for a ceiling fan."

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Satu Dua Perkara Sebelum Tidur

There are few things I have in mind. Especially when I am about to sleep. And of course, these things are rather very personal to me. They are about my deepest desires, longing for something and of course, needless to mention it here because I feel quite obscure in dealing about it on this blog.

I had a terrible headache this afternoon and I decided to skip two of my afternoon classes. They were MATSE 410 and CHEM 410; both are lecture-style courses. Not a big deal. So when I reached my home, the first thing that came to my mind was to grab a photo in the frame and brought it over to my bed. Then I fell asleep with the photo frame was in my arms. And that was the best sleep ever I had for this week.

Of course many of you will come with many speculations, thinking that the photo must belonged to someone special; someone who I hold very close to my heart. Oh yes, oh yes indeed. The photo frame has my mom's picture. And someone else.

I wish I could talk to my mom, knowing what will she have for her breakfast and what she bought at pasar juadah for the breakfast. And of course, I wonder if my brother's fiancee sent any kuih for my parents. I am guessing, by now, my mummy must already adore Kak Rafidah because she's working very hard to please my mummy. Oh well, knowing my mum, one can easily please her with a bit of smile and kindness shown because she requests nothing more than a sincerity and a good will to take a good care of her son. Wonder how my future fiancee will be as good as Kak Rafidah. Boy, that's gonna be a longgggg shot from here though!

I still have many years to come by. I shall think over this later, not today, not tomorrow or perhaps, not even in this year or next year.

Okay, now I think I better hit the bed before this sleepiness kills me in front of my iBook. So guys, selamat berpuasa and selamat berbuka.
Apa Ada Dalam Hati?



di antara kekasih pilihan di hati
punyai budi penghias diri
wajahnya lembut biasan pekerti yang tinggi
indahnya, perhiasan duniawi
di antara diriku jua dirimu
hanya mengharap cinta yang satu
kubinakan mahligai impianmu
oh sayang, ikhlaskanlah hatimu
malumu bernilai, katamu berhikmah
hatimu tulus suci dan murni
hanya diri yang halal, engkau serahkan segala
untuk mencari redha Ilahi
benarlah cinta buta melalaikan
tanpa memikirkan batas syariatnya
semuanya itu hanya ujian di dunia
ia adalah mahar untuk kita ke syurga
kau permaisuri di hatiku
di dunia ini, engkau penghibur
menjunjung kasih amanah Ilahi
kupasti akan terus menyayangi
terima kasih ucapan kuberi
kau hadiahkan ku cahaya hati
kupimpin tanganmu oh kasih
meniti hari
semoga kita dapat bersama, sampai kepada Nya
di syurga sana...
Tuhan kekalkanlah permaisuri hatiku
untuk menemani dalam menggapai cinta Mu - Permaisuri Hatiku, Hijjaz


Ingat tadi nak letak dah kat blog, apa yang aku dah tulis. Tapi bila pikir-pikir balik, takyahlah kot. Jiwang sangat...hahahahaha..itulah dia, bila datang pening kepala aku, datang sakit kepala campur mengantuk, masuklah dalam stok "aku hidup dalam blues". Mujur gak blues, kalau "aku hidup dalam blue", payah lak. Nak-nak bulan puasa ni, memang habis berterabur la pahala puasa tu.

Last week orang-orang dari Malaysian Student Department ada datang ke kampus aku, saje nak melawat students kita kat sini. Baguslah kan. Nampak sikit diorang buat kerja, other than duduk melepak kat embassy kita yang comfy giler kat DC tu. Or maybe, diorang buat kerja surveillance untuk 'the power that be'.

Habis semua, iftar, solat maghrib dan isyak, plus tarawikh, bebudak mingle la dengan depa. Kali ni, orang MSD datang in full force la, Dr. Zahratul, Ustaz Zaki, Cik Mat, brader advisor JPA ngan wife dia pun mai sekali. Aku layan sembanglah dengan semua kecuali brader advisor JPA scholars tu. Tak kenal. At least dengan Dr. Zahratul tu, pernah la sebab aku dengan Zaid pernah deal dengan dia pasal JPA scholars. Dr. Zahratul dok cerita kat bebudak lain pasal aku hangin dengan dia sebab nak handle bebudak yang baru sampai. Itu cerita lama, tapi memang aku takkan lupa punya sampai bila-bila. Kalu nak cerita, panjang sangat kat sini.

Kebetulan time bersembang dengan Ustaz Zaki dan Dr. Zahratul (Pengarah MSD dia nih), ada budak tanya macam mana nak apply kalau nak kahwin kat US. Perghhh...sensasi betul topik tu jadiknya! Memang sedap kalau dapat modal nak mengenakan orang ni. Dr. Zahratul kata, nak ada pakwe/makwe ni, time consuming. 1 jam nak call makwe/pakwe, 1 jam lagi nak hantar email kat pakwe/makwe, itu belum campur kalau makwe/pakwe merajuk. Satu kerja nak pujuk pulak. Aku tambah la lagik cakap Dr. Zahratul, haa..1 jam lagi telefon Dr. Zahratul nak tanya camner nak pujuk pakwe/makwe.

Aku rasa, itu ajerlah kali terakhir aku akan jumpa dengan diorang pun sebab aku pun dah nak graduate. Seronok jugak sembang dengan diorang ni, orang-orang tua. Maklumlah, Penn State ni tak ada orang tua. Tempat ni akan jadi lagi seronok kalau ada abang-abang atau kakak-kakak yang buat graduate studies, macam waktu Abang J ada dulu. Now Abang J dah pun jadi Profesor Madya kat Akademi Pengajian Bahasa di UiTM, Shah Alam. Ramai jugak alumni Penn State yang jadi pengajar ni, macam si Meor, Kak Fairuz, Abang Shidi. Ramai jugak lah yang sibuk nak kirim car sticker kat aku bila aku balik nanti. Ahhh, bolehlah bukak bisness barang Penn State kat M'sia nanti.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

My Usual Ramblings



Sebenarnya tak ada apa yang nak dituliskan, melainkan merepek semata-mata. By the way, dalam online newspaper BBC, ada mention para arkeologi dah jumpa jamban tempat Martin Luther buang air besar. Martin Luther ni, untuk orang-orang yang tak tahu, ialah pengasas fahaman Protestan dalam Kristian. Martin Luther banyak mendedahkan korupsi yang berlaku dalam Katolik (especially bab penjualan surat pengampunan) dan menghuraikan untuk mendekatkan diri pada tuhan, bukanlah melalui gereja semata-mata; perlu mengikut kitab Bible secara sepenuhnya dan mengikut pemahaman kendiri kepada risalah Bible. Rupa-rupanya, si Martin Luther ni historically memang ada penyakit sembelit. Susah nak buang taik. Jadi disebabkan dia lama sangat dalam toilet, maka datanglah banyak idea-idea baru berhubung dengan ajaran Kristian yang sempat dia formulate kan. Hebat tak hebat, dalam jamban pun leh hasilkan idea yang revolusi and kontroversi.

Bercakap pasal kontroversi, sekarang ni isu Menteri JKR yang berura-ura nak saman SCAH pasal depa dok buat kempen, "Hon untuk Pecat Samy Vellu". Aku memang nak gelak pun ada, tepuk dahi pun ada, garu ketiak pun ada bila baca pasal karenah menteri kita yang gelap sorang ni. DAP punyalah bersalak dalam Parlimen suruh pecat dia, SCAH juga yang kena saman. Tahu jugak dia takut nak lawan Lim Kit Siang dalam Parlimen.

Tapi betullah, pada pandangan aku, memang patut pun cadangan dipecat dikemukan di Parlimen. Kalau jadi kat UK mahu pun US, dah tentu orang tu letak jawatan (atau pun dibersarakan awal, amik contoh George Tenet, ex CIA Director). Ambil contoh paling dekat, di Korea Selatan sendiri Perdana Menterinya diletakkan jawatannya disebabkan perlantikannya timbulkan kontroversi dalam Parlimen. Untuk selamatkan kredibiliti Parlimen dan kerajaan, dia sendiri secara sukarela letak jawatan. Perdana Menteri Jepun dah berkali-kali letak jawatan dan silih berganti kerana banyak tuduhan melibatkann rasuah dan salah urus. Sama juga menteri-menteri di Taiwan dan Thailand. Tapi hal ni tak boleh jadi di Malaysia, Bolehlahland ni. Kalau boleh semua menteri mahu mati kat kerusi empuk dalam pejabat kementerian masing-masing. Untuk apa? Aku pun tak tahu, korang sendiri jawaplah.

Oh, respon pada teman kite si Utarian (teman internet tanpa wajah, suara), lately memang kurang sikitlah blues blog ni. Mungkin sebab saya sibuk dengan urusan kelas dan lab. Mungkin juga saya simpan dalam hati. Or mungkin jugak saya sibuk menulis blues/jiwang karat saya dalam diari cokelat saya yang berhabuk atas meja kat bilik tu. Tapi apa-apa pun, saya rasa banyak saya luahkan kat dalam sleeping bag ajer lah. Bila rasa blues, saya pun masuk menyembunyikan diri dalam sleeping bag saya and tidur. Moga-moga mimpi yang indah-indah, ye dak?

Tapi itulah dia, buat sementara ini, blog ini akan betul jadi jalan yang sepi. Sepi dengan updates (melainkan 'paper-paper PhD', hasil pandangan saya tentang situasi semasa, samada keadaan di Malaysia mahu pun isu global).

Selamat berpuasa semua, selamat meneruskan ibadah puasa semua dan selamat menjadi manusia yang lebih berdisiplin dalam bulan Ramadhan ini. Ihya Ramadhan, Ramadhan Kareem!

Friday, October 22, 2004

My Oral Presentation

Below is the email I received from my senior year Chemical Engineering lab professor;

Farid,
A few comments on your presentation style:
You stood a very good posture; one minor point was that you looked at the screen and memo too often. Try to make good eye contact with the audience.

Other than that, it was ok.

Cheers,
Professor Seong H Kim

Adapted from Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, by Carolyn Godschild Miller New World Library, 2000).

1. Consider the possibility that there is a source of wisdom within you that knows better than you do which partner will be most likely to make you happy.

2. Look for the sort of person you’d want as a best friend even if you weren’t attracted to her or him sexually.

3. Don‘t cultivate a relationship with someone “superior” whose love appears to “elevate” you in some way, but with an equal you enjoy.

4. Remember that your soul won’t be satisfied with anything less than true love. Accept no substitutes!

5. Focus on finding a partner who wants to share the kind of life you want, rather than adjusting your desires in order to be with some particular person your ego thinks would be perfect for you.

6. Stop holding out for a relationship that is effortless. Intimate relationships are frequently hard work, even when the other person is a soul mate.

7. Trust your heart. Trust your gut. And trust the inner sense you have when the energy closes down around some involvement. Be willing to consider change when some aspect of your life has ceased to be fulfilling.

8. Sometimes releasing a lover to seek greater fulfillment elsewhere is the highest expression of love.

9. Recognize that your happiness in life doesn’t depend upon being loved, but upon loving. You can have a joyous, love-filled life even if you never find a mate.

10. Come from strength, and focus on what you have to give others rather than on what you hope to get from them.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Should Ulama Become Professional?

To date, there are many professional positions available for many of us, who claim to have such expertise in particular subject matter. The same section of society which subscribes to this idea is the ulama. The ulamas, claim to have a total authority on religious matter, use such position to maintain their exclusive right on discussing religion. Perhaps they are right - religion doesn't belong to the public. It belongs only to ulama at their disposal.

What professional really means? The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines it, which best suits this context, as the skilled practitioner or an expert. This verifies the claim of ulama that only they have the right to discuss any issue with respect to religion. However, in Islam, religion plays a very important role in determining the course of mankind. Religion provides set of rules; guideliness to ensure the mankind achieves harmony both in worldly activities as well as in the hereafter.

However, considering the ever-changing development of mankind, from science to technology as well as teology, the ulama must also evolve according to the era which they belong. Many discoveries are made almost on daily basis. Some are controversial in nature and some are very cheesy, to say the least. Subsequently, these discoveries affect our daily life both explicitly and implicitly, as they somehow relate to the Islamic values which we are subscribed to.

The aforementioned word 'evolve' here does not mean they have to compromise the religion in order to suit the need of time. It is rather to say, to readily accept any positive values from the era which do not contradict with Islamic monotheism values and incorporate them into the religion. The principle of the religion, revolves around aqeedah and tauheed, will remain as it is. But in mu'ammalah, which is daily action which pertains to society interaction, will evolve according to human needs. Usually, mu'ammalah has clear relationship with fiqh interpretation because aqeedah and tauhid are two concrete and established subjects since the beginning of Islam. No question about it.

Sayyid Sabiq in Fiqh us Sunnah clearly defined fiqh as the derivative of intellectual acitivity which in need of exercising analogical reasoning. Fiqh belongs the latter generation when many new situations arise and they demand exercise of one's mind as to the application of the relevational injunctions and the Prophet's commandments to them. The approach to fiqh when it comes to deal with issues in shari'ah, as demonstrated by Mu'az ibn Jabal when he was sent to Yemen by the Prophet, is by looking into the Qur'an, the sunnah and lastly if he could not find anything in these two sources, he would exercise his judgement. The Prophet approveds his approach and this has become the basis of fiqh formulation.

History has proven that the greatest Muslim scholars like Ibnu Sina, Al Kindi, Al Jabra and those who shared the same paradigm as theirs mastered the knowledge of Qur'an long before they made their greatest discoveries of science. Only then they could justify every discovery they made and made it useful to the benefit of mankind.

Our ulama nowadays are trapped from the classical fiqh interpretation which was formed for more than a century ago. The fatigue caused by confining themselves only to such interpretation without studying the subject matter thoroughly with respect to the time it was interpreted and its historical background, will only backfire the dynamic nature of the religion itself.

Issues such as cell stem research, cloning, space exploration, application of technology and many more pose many questions to the integral of Islamic values in our daily life. Our ulamas must accomodate themselves with enormous amount of knowledge in order to evaluate the situation on case by case basis. Unless if they are ready to follow the ulama of the past like Al Kindi, Ibn Rusyh, Ibnu Sina and the like, they will be relic and irrelevant to our daily life.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The Last Trip to Troy: Tribute to Friends of Troy

Last weekend was the last trip to Troy, NY. Sad as it is, I can assure to my buddies in Troy, that was the last trip to Troy. For the past few years, I've had good memories in small town called Troy. Well, to say good alone would be an understatement, but I can't figure out the best word to suit the excitement, the joyful and the delight I 've had coming to Troy (okay Zaid, jangan ingat bukan-bukan, and Lan, this obviously not because of this pseudo-name character 'Intan').

I've made many friends in Troy, some of them remain friends until now (some of them are upgraded to good friend, sahabah fillah), some stay as acquaintances and the rest are simply anonymous. Oh well, quite a few of them, how should I put it - I become their secret admirer from the far. I am amazed, impressed and dumbfounded by these people. Really! Nonetheless, I treasure every moment I had in Troy. Although it is a small town, albeit it is obviously much bigger than State College comparatively, but the place comprises of many unique talents and interesting souls.

Throughout my stay in Troy, I believe that the sun somehow shines a bit brighter there. My heart also becomes lighter over there. Maybe because I find my peace there, mingling with dear friends and enjoying goof times with them. We shared our best laughs together, we bickered against each other, we played together, we goofed a lot - then we become one. One as in the brotherhood. The only thing that pulls me back to Troy is this unique brotherhood I share with them. Although some of them had left the place for good but I shall never forget them as my memories with them are well live in that place.

Friends like Chot, Mozaid, Kamek, Zaid, Lan, Awang and friends, Abang Azahari and family, Abang Zul and family, Kak Aziah and Odus and many more (I can't list everyone here as I can't remember everybody's name), make me like I'm one of the family members in Troy. I feel very grateful to get to know these wonderful people, whose hearts are much warmer than summer breeze in State College. I pray to Him that He will make these people stay as they are, full of wisdom and knowledge and at the same time, lack no sense of humar at all.

Troy, c'est la vie!
Busy, busy, busy week

Things to do
1. CHEM 410 (Inorganic chemistry) term paper: Role of transitional metal in hydrodesulfurization. Minimum is 2500 words. Due today.
2. CH E 407W (Senior Lab Chemical Engineering) oral presentation : Study of the Operation of Distillation Column (separation ethanol and water). Due this Thursday.
3. MATSE 410 (Material Science Engineering) Midterm 1. This Wednesday, 7.30 pm.

Don't you think your professors have no other things to do, except making your already-miserable life more miserable. Especially when it gets closer to Fall study break, this coming Friday!

Well actually I intend to write about my trip to Troy, New York but I guess, I need to postpone it for another time. These important things-to-do are my priority at the moment. See you guys in couple of days...

~tokey blog~

Friday, October 08, 2004

Movies I Love to Watch Again and Again and Again

Romantic Comedy
Sleepless in Seattle
You've Got Mail
When Harry Meet Sally
Love Actually
Alex & Emma

Drama
Kramer vs Kramer
I am Sam
The Green Miles
Shawshank Redemption
Meet Joe Black
Band of Brothers (HBO telemovie)
A Few Good Men

Horror/Thriller
Silence of the Lamb
The Exorcist

Sci-fi
Star Trek
Star Wars

From Sleepless in Seattle
Sam Baldwin : Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin : You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin : Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every man in America.
From Kramer vs Kramer
Ted Kramer : How much courage does it take to walk out on your kid?
From Band of Brothers (real life interview with Major Richard Winters)
Richard Winters : I treasure my remark to a grandson who asked, "Grandpa, were you a hero in the war?" "No", I answered, "But I served in a company of heroes".
I guess that pretty much explains of who I am and what kind of person I am.

Signing off this week,
Sleepless in State College

Thursday, October 07, 2004

6 Tahun Sudah Berlalu



Tajuk entry pun cam jiwang jekk..padahal takde menda pun. Bukan nak cerita ape, just nak reminisce good ol' memories down the memory lane. Insya Allah hari Jumaat ni jadi la kot Malaysian Nite kat universiti aku. Seperti biasa, silat is one of the main dish for that night.

Bila ingat-ingat balik..rindu pulak teringat kat kenkawan dalam silat nih. My huge crush dulu pun budak silat jugak. Cumanya, bukan sama-sama belajar sebab kami bukan sama bengkung. Aku ajar dia sebab dia baru masuk silat and kebetulan aku pembantu jurulatih kat gelanggang tu. But well, cerita lama..takyah nak ingat balik. Tak best.

Dalam gambar kat atas tu, di amik lepas demo silat gayong kat PPP, ITM Seksyen 18. Seronok jugak la masa tu. Sayang aaa aku tak dapat pakai baju silat aku malam tu sebab apa entah. Baju silat aku dah lusuh dah, luntur dah kaler hitam dia jadik kaler kelabu sebab 5 tahun bersilat dengan baju tu. Untuk demo malam tu, Kak Ati pinjamkan baju silat dia untuk aku...mujur badan dia besar la kan. Hehehe..aku rasa lain macam ajer bila sarung baju silat dia, sebab rasa besar kat dada. Hahahahaha....



Malam tu meriah la kat asrama siswa sebab ramai giler orang datang. Akak-akak siswi pun ramai gak datang tengok bebudak PSSGM bersilat. Tu yang syiok tuhhhh, awek ramai datang woooo! Partner bersilat aku si Haizrin tu, asalnya budak gelanggang Gayong Sek. Teknik Sg Buloh kot kalau tak silap aku. Kami sama-sama bengkung pelangi merah. Semuanya okay cuma kami ni tak berapa ngam lagi sebab baru kenal. Perbezaan utama antara aku dengan Haizrin, dia ni banyak main bunga sebab dia punya jurulatih dulu banyak tekankan bab seni, bab main bunga sebab diorang banyak join pertandingan silat seni, especially dalam masal (seni persembahan silat berkumpulan). Aku pulak, dah diasuh dengan dengan seni tempur sejak dari form 1 lagi. Memang tak ada ler nak bunga-bunga ni, asyik nak menghentam ajer kiranya. So bila dua-dua bersilat, memang gayat sikitlah rasanya. Sorang dengan bunganya, sorang lagi asyik nak menyerang ganas jek.

Understanding bersilat bersama pun belum bebetul kukuh, tak macam masa aku partner dengan Eak (nama betul dia Ezly Amer bin Khalid). 4 tahun punya understanding tak boleh nak compare dengan 2 3 bulan punya understanding. Sekali kilas pun kita dah tahu gerak pasangan kita, tapi kalau baru nak kenal-kenal, baru nak tepuk-tepuk and pukul-pukul..manalah kita nak dan cam dia. Itu pasal la banyak jugak aku terlupa buah pukul aku. Dah la dengan partner baru, buat pulak pentas pukulan bukan main pentas buah tapak hidup. Memang kantoi. Tapi seronok woo..alah, bukan bebudak silat bukan tahu pun kalau aku screwed up masa tu. Heehehehe..



Some people takleh relate apesal sesetengah orang kalau bersilat ni dia memang fanatik. Eh, bukan fanatik. Tak kena perkataan tu. Naik sheikh kot. Haa..banyak punca dia. Antaranya, panas baran tak yang gheti nak kontrol-kontrol. Aku dulu memang stok panas baran, serius shit tak tipu. Pantang angin ajer, nak angkat tangan ni ahh, mulut cam cibai ajer nak maki hamun. Tapi slowly dengan penglibatan dalam silat ni, baran aku makin hilang. Makin kontrol and composed. Bukan nak kata hilang habis, takkan habisnya nafsu amarah kita ni, cumanya samada dapat dikawal sepenuhnya atau pun tidak lah.

Selain dari tu, ada jugak gangguan daripada makhluk halus. Ni sebabnya kawasan tempat kita berlatih silat tu sebenarnya ada jugak makhluk lain duduk tinggal. Kita dok dalam dunia ni berkongsi dengan makhluk jin, syaitan, iblis dan banyak lagi yang kita tak dapat pandang sebab ada hijab. Sebab tu kita tak boleh berperangai sebarangan, sebab kita kena hormat dengan 'jiran-jiran' kita ni. Pernah Cikgu Selamat cerita kat aku, waktu dia jaga permainan silat di ITM induk, dia nampak budak sorang ni naik sheikh, mata merah-merah sambil bersilat meracau habis. Ni memang sah diganggu makhluk halus kata Cikgu Selamat. Mujur cikgu sempat cekup tengkuk mamat tu and humbankan dia ke tanah. Amik ko, makan tanah mamat tu. Lepas tu baru dia tersedar, terus tak ingat apa yang dia buat just before that.



Kalau tak kerana tempat pun, kadang kala disebabkan amalan persilatan tu sendiri. Cikgu Rasul, cikgu silat aku waktu di gelanggang Alam Shah cerita pasal amalan Silat Seni Lincah. Kalau nak bukak gelanggang baru, mesti disembelih ayam jantan seekor and darahnya ditaburkan keliling gelanggang. Haa..yang tu memang sah silap haribulan boleh bawak khurafat. Kalau ada sapa-sapa budak Seni Lincah yang terbaca blog aku ni, nak betulkan pun boleh apa yang aku cakap pasal depa. Tapi yang aku petik ni sebenarnya dari cikgu silat aku sendiri. Hanya dia yang tahu kebenarannya sebab dia yang jadi saksinya. Dalam Silat Gayong pulak, memang tak ada amalan macam tu. Yang ada, hanya doa minta perlindungan kepada tuhan dan selawat ke atas nabi. Hak mandi minyak panas tu dalam Silat Gayong, bukan untuk nak jadi kebal ke apa. Cuma untuk tujuan perubatan. Itu ajer. Sapa-sapa kata nak mandi minyak ni untuk kebal, untuk karut ajer.

Silat ni banyak ambil pergerakan daripada haiwan. Silat Gayong M'sia sendiri, ambil contoh gerakan harimau. Sebab banyak nama seninya ada kena mengena dengan harimau. Asas gerakan harimau, lompatan harimau melenting, harimau mengambur mangsa, harimau mengambur dahan, seni yoi (harimau melenting atas lumpur). Ambil contoh lain pulak, silat Cimandi. Kononnya silat ni dipengaruhi dengan aksi monyet, cimandi ni asal nama sanskrit bagi monyet kot. Lebih kurang gitu lah. Kita tengok sekali gaya, memang betul nampak cam monyet terlompat-lompat mengelak. Tak caya, gi la tengok memana gelanggang silat cimandi ni. Lagi satu, tengok silat Elang Putih, gaya macam burung helang pulak.

Ni azam aku lah. Aku tanam azam bila balik M'sia nanti aku nak sambung balik pelajaran silat. At the same time, nak sambung belajar tae kwon do balik. Nanti leh sparring dengan Cik Alia, sifoo TKD blogger..hehehehe..Lagi pun, bagus bersilat ni, sihat badan, takde buang masa nak melepak tak tentu arah.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Sekali-sekala...



seorang wanita bermahkota ibu
menggenggam jari-jari kecil
ikatan ini tidakkan terurai
kerna tautan ini
tautan darah dan akidah
dan rahmat dari Allah

kini ibu, peganglah tanganku ini
biar kubawa ibu menjelajah hasil
titik peluhmu
biar kubawa ke alamku, hasil ukiranmu
selama ini

dodoianmu ibu
membina benteng pemisah
antara yang haq dan yang bathil
membakar semangat perjuangan
mengait kasih kepada junjungan tercinta
bersujud lama mengabdi diri kepada
Yang Esa

kini ibu, peganglah tanganku ini
biar kubawa ibu menjelajah hasil
titik peluhmu
biar kubawa ke alamku, hasil ukiranmu
selama ini

(ibu, jika belum pernah kau dengar
ucapan terima kasih dariku
ketahuilah doaku ini
moga Allah menyayangimu
sepertimana kau mengasihiku
dari dulu hingga kini dan selamanya)


Minggu lepas kawan aku dari Besut, Terengganu gi graduation dia. Dia tanya aku, ada apa-apa tak pesanan aku untuk dia sempena hari konvokesyen dia. So aku cakap, "Congratulation on your graduation. Today, it signifies your achievement in your academic. Be joyful. Don't forget to smile despite your hectic and miserable week. And lastly, see your parents and say, "thank you", sincerely". And she said, "Ouchhh". Heheheeh..dia tahu aku perli dia for the last part. Anyway, that's not the main point.

Hmm..yup..thank you. Itu yang aku nak cakap kat mak ayah aku on the day aku graduate nanti kat sini. Aku nak call depa from here and nak cakap terima kasih banyak-banyak sebab percayakan aku, bagi sokongan kat aku dari jauh and tak pernah lupa untuk doakan aku walau pun aku ni memang trouble maker for them. Well, 'trouble maker' in a good way I hope.

Ramadhan pun dah dekat. Maybe it's a good time to call them again and wish them 'Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan'.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Something Written in the Past

Autograph book is something for most of SASsians to have, usually prior to their graduation from the school. Many of them will decorate their autograph book with an abridged version of their autobiography. I must say, some of them write really well when it comes to story-telling; ups and down, sweet and bitter memories in 'hotter-than-hell' Alam Shah. Oh boys, 5 years in this all-boys high school certainly imprinted memories vividly in my mind. That's for sure!

Anyway, while I was ensconcing in my own room, flipping through the old pages of my autograph book, I stumbled with this page. A piece of writing from my mama, mainly talking about encouragement and hopes. And of coure, it includes her impression about me.

10/12/1997
Dearest Farid,
Although I don't teach you English, we met in other circumstances. As a student, I find you pleasant and very helpful. Thank you for being such a person.
You will have a long way ahead of you to achieve success. Success academically and success in becoming a good, hardworking and sincere person.
I hope you'll achieve success in your future undertakings and may God bless you. Do keep in touch.

Lots of love,
mama


Certainly this brought back all the good times I had with her. I remember one time she firmly reminded me of to look into her eyes whenever I talked to her. She said, only rude people do not look into people's eyes when they are enganging in conversation. I told her, I am a bit shy talking to women especially when I need to look into their eyes. Mama just laughed at me afterwards.

Geeezz..I guess time flies really fast. I picked up her lesson quite well and I constantly practice it in my daily life. She is right; people are more convinced of you when you look into their eyes during the conversation. It makes you look more confident albeit you're one hell of unassertive person. Oh well, who would know about it anyway?

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Malam ni, Malam esok

Ini ler dia aktiviti aku kena buat untuk hujung minggu ni; praktis scene silat untuk Malaysian Nite.