I wish I could sing this song for my spouse if she's in stressful mood. :)
Hopefully she will cool down easily by listening to the tune. Okay, okay..angan2 ajer ek?

Graduating to a Happy, Financially Secure Future

by Laura Rowley
Posted on Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 12:00AM

Every year around this time, the New York Times prints a roundup of commencement addresses. I always find a little inspiration there to cut out and stick on my office wall. This year, its author J.K. Rowling's address to Harvard grads about the benefits of failure -- although if I were to nominate a group for the "least likely to fail" award, it would probably be that audience.

In any case, I had some thoughts for my own commencement address. Here's what I would tell the class of 2008 about money.

Believe the Clichés

Personal finance advice is so similar, and so often repeated, it's become a cliché:

• Live within your means.

• Set up an emergency fund with three months of living expenses.

• Stay out of debt.

• Join your company's 401(k) plan or open an individual retirement account; set aside at least 10 percent of your pre-tax income every year.

• Invest in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds to help your money grow over time, and make sure you're not paying too much in fees.

Clichés are easy to take for granted and easy to tune out. But here's the truth: Believe these clichés. Because if you actually follow the advice, it will transform your life.

The Roaring 20s

I'm convinced that real happiness comes from identifying your values, and then being brave enough to expend your strongest talents and best energy in their service. I think genuine happiness comes from naming what you care about most deeply, setting priorities around those values, and then translating them into real, concrete goals. Money is one instrument in the toolbox of resources and people and experiences that help you journey down that path toward the person you were meant to be.

Your 20s represent a personal finance paradox: You have the most financial power that you may ever have because of the phenomenon of compounding. (Someone who saves $2,000 a year for retirement between age 21 and 30 and then stops will have a bigger nest egg than someone who starts at 31 and saves until they're 65.) At the same time, your 20s can be a bit of a bust in terms of figuring out why you were put on the planet.

It's a confusing decade -- you charge out of college knowing everything and ready to rule the world, and spend the next decade realizing you know almost nothing at all. Then, in your 30s and 40s, you recognize that it's OK to know almost nothing -- and is actually a finer way to approach life, because you really listen to and learn from other people, take risks, and benefit from mistakes and failure. (If you continue to simply know everything, you don't grow and become an arrogant bore.)

The Ghosts of Purchases Past

So here's the problem: Many people lurch around in their 20s trying to establish their identities. One day, you pick up a magazine or see a television show that suggests one can establish an identity by buying $500 designer shoes. Or $900 designer golf clubs. Or some other stupid thing that costs a whole lot less to manufacture than you paid for it. Because you weren't just paying for straps of leather or sticks of iron but for an identity attached to a lifestyle that somebody made up in a brainstorming session in an advertising firm somewhere in New York, or in a scriptwriting meeting in Los Angeles.

And this isn't entirely your fault. You're bombarded with signals to buy in a way previous generations were not. There are 1,000 cable channels telling you on a daily basis that your face, body, home, and possessions are in need of an extreme makeover. Technology and credit card companies have made it effortless to act on those impulses.

And then you get into your 30s and 40s and have a better understanding of who you are and why you were put on the planet. You're now ready to use money as a tool to help walk down that road. That's when your 20s can come back to haunt you. Maybe you're still paying the credit card for the $500 shoes and the $900 golf clubs (or for all the money spent in chic bars showing off the shoes, and at golf courses showing off the clubs).

Reality Bites

So you had some fun, but now you're playing catch up. That's usually when the magical thinking starts. You do things like buy a house with an adjustable rate mortgage (because you didn't save up a home down payment). Or you listen to some guru who tells you to put everything you have in gold or oil, or to buy stocks on margin or speculative real estate with no money down.

And maybe you have a couple of kids, and the media that told you to buy the shoes and golf clubs is now suggesting you invest in Suzuki violin lessons, private tutors, and traveling sports teams.

You're scrambling to save for retirement, scrambling to meet your rising mortgage payments, getting in deeper on that credit card to take a few fun vacations with your kids before they grow up and leave you, and God knows how you'll pay for college (since the gold-oil-stocks-real estate thing didn't work for you the way it did for the guru).

And it's really hard to follow your deepest values, and pursue that thing you were meant to do and become that person you were meant to be, because you're really stressed out about money.

Happiness Gained

I was a naïve kid from the Midwest living in New York City in my 20s -- naïve enough to believe all those clichés my father told me about staying out of debt and saving for retirement. So I did both -- it was just something I made a requirement, as routine as brushing my teeth. (And I had a lot of fun at the same time; I just bought my shoes at sample sales, frequented bars with free happy-hour buffets, and traveled to Europe on a shoestring.)

And when I was 37 (which happened a hell of lot sooner than I expected) and working 14 hours a day in television with two kids under age three, I could walk away from my full-time job and start my own thing. My values had shifted, and I knew I had to find a better balance between work and family. I had the luxury of using money to journey down the road in pursuit of my values -- not because I had a big win in oil or gold or sold a bazillion get-rich-quick books, but because I had stayed out of debt and consistently saved for almost two decades.

And that has made me happy.

Commence with Being Happy

So here's my advice:

• Live within your means.

• Set up an emergency fund with three months of living expenses.

• Stay out of debt.

• Join your company's 401(k) plan or open an individual retirement account, and save at least 10 percent of your pre-tax income every year.

• Invest in a diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds to help your money grow over time, and make sure you're not paying too much in fees.

Believe in the clichés. Follow the advice, make it as routine as brushing your teeth. Because one day it will open up a world of options, and transform money from a potentially huge source of stress into a resource to help you follow your values -- and hopefully figure out why you're on the planet.

Aku really enjoy hari ni kat IOI Marriot. For the first time aku rasa aku punya swing dah almost perfect. Iron 7 swing is awesome, same goes to Iron 5. Woods 5 and 3 are also not bad. Memang rasa best la sampai bantai 300 biji bola golf aku swing.

Memang belajar swing golf ni macam lahanatnya penat and membosankan. Tapi it is an addicted game. Tak sabar pulak nak masuk padang lepas nih. Huhuhuhu!

I Want to Swing Like Him



I love this shot, seriously. Perfect swing for a tee off! Wish I could do the same thing.

Today is Saturday. Yesszaaa...I guess everybody knows what it means to have Saturday arrived. Today marks the first day of auto subsidy for car owners. Car owner with maximum 5 registered cars can get his subsidy from the POS Malaysia office throughout the country beginning today. I just saw a crowd thronging the postal office near my residence.

Guys, think about it. Do you really think $625 can create an extra space in our pocket after the oil price hike? I am not a Math professor but I really don't think so.

The New Sunday Times 8 June 2008

Like a virgin... again
By : TAN CHOE CHOE

Hymenoplasty
Dr V. Surendranathan says the hymen can also tear through rigorous physical activities like cycling or running.

Some foreign students are leaving the country not just with a new academic certificate, but with a ‘new’ intact hymen — or so some plastic surgeons tell TAN CHOE CHOE

THEY'RE usually in their early 20s and most are in the final year of their studies.

"The girls don't come alone (for the consultation and surgery). They come with their boyfriends or a trusted girlfriend," says a consultant plastic surgeon with a notable private hospital in Kuala Lumpur.

A lot can happen when youths leave home to study abroad and sexual exploration is invariably on the top of the list.

"And when these girls come here -- either with their boyfriends or they befriend local guys -- some of them engage in penetrative sexual acts," says the surgeon.

But despite the freedom they enjoy here, the day eventually comes when they have to go home to their parents, get married and settle down.

And some of these girls come from communities that for various cultural and religious reasons, still require a girl to be a virgin.

"To them, having the hymen intact is not just an important marriage commodity -- their very lives depend on it," says the surgeon.

Never mind that over the past few decades we've achieved and advanced so much -- like putting a few men on the moon, doing organ transplants and creating babies in test tubes.

There are still reports of women being killed or brutalised by their family members in certain African and Middle-eastern countries if they are found not to be virgins on their wedding night.

Last Sunday, it was reported that a young Muslim couple's marriage was annulled in 2006 because the bride, a student nurse in her 20s, was not a virgin.

The wedding night party was still under way at the family's home in Roubaix, France, when the groom, an engineer in his 30s, came down from the bedroom complaining that his bride was not a virgin.

He could not display the blood-stained sheet that is traditionally exhibited as proof of the bride's purity.

Elisabeth Badinter, a philosopher and pioneer of women's legal rights, said the annulment would only serve to send young Muslim girls running to hospitals to have their hymens restored.

In France, although it is officially discouraged, the operation is seeing increasing demand from Muslim women who fear the consequences of being unable to prove their virginity on their wedding night.

It takes only about 30 minutes and voila, the girl is a "virgin" again. The operation is not only attracting foreign students, but some local university students have also started to request for their hymen to be repaired.

A 22-year-old varsity student told the New Sunday Times that she went to see a plastic surgeon to have her hymen restored after she learnt about the procedure on the Internet.

"I buat salah (made a mistake) and had pre-marital sex with my former boyfriend once. I don't want my future husband to think that I'm a slut just because of that one night," says the business administration student who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity.

She forked out RM2,500 for the procedure last December. It was money she saved from giving part-time tuition.

"The hymen is fragile and can be easily torn, not necessarily through penetrative sex, but also rigorous physical activities like cycling or running, or even after a fall," says consultant plastic surgeon Dr V. Surendranathan.

Restoration of the hymen is done on an outpatient basis, under local anesthesia or sedation.

Simple repair consists of piecing together the remnants of the hymen by closing the tear and it's a simple procedure that is done by pulling the tissue together.

However, the result of this particular procedure is not meant to last and some experts say "it must be done three to seven days before the wedding".

When the hymenal remnants are not sufficient, a small incision can be cut into the outer flaps of the vagina and a suture put across it.

"After about three to four weeks -- during which time the patient is advised against any form of penetrative sex -- the sutures, which are usually fine black threads, will come off on their own," says Dr Surendranathan.

Another option is inserting a tear-through nylon-like biomaterial. "When sexual intercourse takes place, the biomaterial would be torn and the tearing would cause some bleeding -- just like what a broken hymen would."

Hymen reconstruction is quite the in-thing among sex workers, says another plastic surgeon who declines to be named.

"They come here for vaginoplasty (tightening and reshaping of the vagina) and usually request hymenoplasty as part of the package," he reveals.

He says simple vagina tightening surgery costs about RM3,000 to RM8,000 -- although the procedure can go up to RM16,000 in some hospitals. Hymenoplasty is more affordable -- it's usually about RM1,500 to RM3,000.

"They tell me having a new hymen is worth it because some customers are willing to fork out about RM10,000 just to spend one night with a 'virgin'."

Procedures like hymen reconstruction are relatively rare and confined to a minority of women who need to conform to religious or ethnic rules on virginity, says Dr Surendranathan.

A greater number of patients complain of stretched vaginal muscles or inner labia that are too big, uneven or unsightly.

Vaginoplasty involves the removing of excess vaginal lining and the tightening of surrounding soft tissues and muscles to return a vagina to its normal anatomical shape and diameter.

Most women who opt for vaginoplasty are those who've had children and are in their late 30s and above.

"They complain about a feeling of looseness. This can decrease the sensation during sexual intercourse, resulting in lower levels of satisfaction for her and her partner," says consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Lee Say Fatt.

After three children and 14 years of marriage, Kristy (not her real name), 42, went for vaginoplasty recently after her husband hinted that he "could not really feel her" any more.

So when she suggested about going for surgery to "tighten things up down there", he was all for it.

"He paid for everything of course. Our sex life has definitely improved," says Kristy.

But she can't help harbouring a little resentment towards her husband after the surgery.

"In a way, him wanting me to do it made me feel like he didn't really love me anymore -- not if I can't satisfy him sexually."

The erosion of sexual pleasure aside, a woman would also experience stress incontinence, and the weakening of the wall between the vagina and bladder or the vagina and that with the rectum.

Some hospitals combine vaginoplasty together with labiaplasty and advertise them collectively as vaginal rejuvenation surgery.

Labiaplasty is a cosmetic genital surgical procedure that will reduce the size or change the shape of the small lips on the outside of the vagina.

What are the risks involved in such surgeries?

"As with any surgery, there can be complications, both surgical and anaesthetic. But complications are rare and they may include bleeding, infection and scarring," says Dr Lee.

Proper surgical techniques and the use of laser will significantly reduce these risks, he says, adding that "laser minimises pain, blood loss and swelling".

It also promotes excellent wound healing, resulting in minimal or no scarring at all.

"The procedures are generally done as day cases and patients are usually put under general anaesthesia.

"After surgery, the patient will be under observation for a few hours before they are allowed to go home -- on the same day."

Women usually report mild to moderate discomfort for a few days after the operation, says Dr Lee. "This can be easily relieved by oral painkillers and cold packs.

"Many women can return to their usual daily activities after resting for a few days."

After surgery, patients would have to abstain from sexual activities for at least six weeks.

NB: My two cents; how would a man know that his wife is not virgin anymore other than using the traditional way - seeing the blood stain on white bedsheet? Unless he is not virgin too and have had penetrative sexual activity before! Tadaaaaa!!!

Thank you Pak Lah for increasing the oil price. I'm honored to have you as my PM. I'm sure the government has managed to make our oil price the cheapest among all the countries in South East Asia, if not among the African countries or the oil exporter countries. I am sure this country will prosper to even a higher degree under the leadership of your Islam Hadhari. Thank you again. Jasamu dikenang! :D

Nothing much to be said. The mind has so much to write but the fingers have become so tired to type. The day is gloomy, like some faces of KLites after the office hours in the LRT going back for home. The day is also wet, which makes it even more depressed. But I'm not. :)