Some Wisdom
I was at Dewan Perdana FELDA last night for helping out with photography and some multimedia work. I had an opportunity to have chit chat with an old couple, a friend of Dato' Nurazman. The couple, a chinese husband and a malay wife, shared with me some wisdom about relationship. Coincidentally, the MC for that night was giving a pantun based on Barbra Streisand's song for which I think it was a crappy pantun. The old lady, whom I addressed her as Aunty, corrected the MC by saying to her husband, "it's not when you meet the other half, your life will be complete. Instead, you need to complete yourself first before you meet your other half". Uncle seemed to concur with his wife. I was perplexed and unhesitantly proceed to ask her.
So she replied by saying, a man or a woman should complete him/herself first before getting into relationship. He/she must discover of who he/she is and what is his/her purpose being on this earth. Her husband, once again concurred with what she said. He said, he was trying hard to woo his wife back when they were in college for his wife at that time wasn't quite easily let him get to her. Finally Aunty told me that at the end, she accepted Uncle for his sincerity to be with her. He worked hard to get to her and didn't take her for granted. Instantenously, I felt sad. I felt 'sebak'. I held my tears from rolling down and I fake my smile. It's true that I am having a little bit of difficulty in my life now and their advices meant a lot for me.
They both continued sharing with me about the wisdom in relationship. Uncle said, in order to maintain a harmonious and healthy relationship, the couple must have at least some similarities. Unlike the popular belief - to be in relationship, a couple must have compliment each other. Uncle strongly believed that in order to successfully maintain a relationship, both individual must support each other by sharing the same similarities. It's not like everything must be the same. You can be different but at the same time, have one or two things in common. Like for them, they both made their life purpose to seek the Truth when the Truth is actually coming from one source - Allah Ta'ala. He was a Christian follower before he converted to Islam. He told me that he didn't convert to Islam just for marrying his wife. He saw two marriages broke off because of the wrong objective in converting to Islam. In fact, subsequently due to the same reason, that impressed his wife. I continued asking them of how they know that they are meant for each other. Uncle and Aunty both advice me to do solat istikharah when I'm having difficulties dealing with this kind of situation. He said again that eventually I'll have to face the big question squarely. It will come to me for sure. But don't be despair for help is always available from the high above. I just nod my head.
We talked about so many things later - business, personal background, issues on certain policies especially in education etc. Apparently, Uncle is the Chairman for few corporate bodies and member of few board of directors. One of the corporate entity which I am familiar with is Kuwait Finance House Inc. He then asked for my business card. Unfortunately I didn't have my name card with me and so he gave his to me. I asked him whether I can contact him through his email if I want to ask for his advice. He welcomes me to do that albeit he doesn't promise to reply it promptly. Aunty even invited me to come and meet her family. Insya Allah, that's what I will do.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Citer Pasal Orang Kelantan
Aku serius rasa nak gelak tepuk2 meja bila baca komen-komen yang sebanyak 152 komen haloscan kat blog Judd. Demm la weh! Mengutuk orang kelantan gila babeng tak ingat punya. Particularly, lelaki Kelantan. Perghhh...
Yang anehnya, yang dok mengutuk lelaki Kelantan tu, khabarnya taklah secantik mana akhlaknya. Itu yang dikhabarkan orang-orang yang ada sekeliling dia. Lagi sekali buat aku nak gelak pecah perut.
Dalamm gelak-gelak tu, aku dok terpikir jugak. Apa pasal orang lelaki Kelantan selalu kena kutuk kaw-kaw punya? Tak cukup semangkuk, depa bagi sebaldi pulak kutukan pada lelaki kelantan. Kemudian, sampai habis satu Kelantan depa dok kutuk. Sian sungguh aku pada nasib orang senegeri dengan aku. Nak-nak sejantina dengan aku yang lahir kat Kelantan dan juga bernombor 03 di tengah-tengah dalam IC diorang.
Tapi yang aku pelik, kenapa orang lain tak kutuk pulak orang negeri lain? Atau pun tak banding-bandingkan lelaki dari negeri lain. Kire aneh la nih sebenarnya. Bak kata orang jawa, ini diskriminasi!
Aku tak pedulik la apa orang nak kata pasal orang-orang Kelantan. Aku lahir kat Kelantan, my first few years of my life aku dibesarkan kat sana. Walaupun aku dah takleh nak cakap sangat dialek Kelantan, still aku boleh paham apa orang Kelantan cakap. Tak ada masalah, bereh! Aku bangga dengan tempat lahir aku. In fact, aku bangga kalau orang kata Pasir Mas tu tempat gewe-gewe comey. Tuh kelantan tuhhh..
In fact, aku bangga jugak tengok ramai anak-anak Kelantan yang berjaya dalam bidang perniagaan. Tu satu pencapaian yang bagus.
Ada pernah kawan perempuan aku sekali cakap, dia tak nak kawen dengan orang lelaki Kelantan. Bagi aku, okaylah. Itu pendapat dia. Tapi toksahlah nak besar-besarkan isu-isu di sebaliknya. Mana lah tahu, kot dapat betul laki orang Kelate, tak ke haru? Jilat ludah sendiri, bak kata peribahasa orang Melayu.
Bagi aku, aku hormat semua orang baik dari negeri Sabah sampai ke Perlis. Masing-masing ada hebatnya, masing-masing ada buruknya. Just because I had bad experience dealing with some people from some state, it doesn't mean I have the right to stereotype them. It's just unfair. It even becomes unfair when people start to exaggerate the whole stereotype issues. That is so wrong and puerile.
Manusia ni bermacam-macam perangainya. Itu hakikat. Itu kelebihan dan kekurangan kita. Samada mahu kita terima atau tak, tepuk dahi tanya hati. Boleh? Tapi jangan sampai melampau batas. Sendiri mau ingat la kawan, kan?
Aku serius rasa nak gelak tepuk2 meja bila baca komen-komen yang sebanyak 152 komen haloscan kat blog Judd. Demm la weh! Mengutuk orang kelantan gila babeng tak ingat punya. Particularly, lelaki Kelantan. Perghhh...
Yang anehnya, yang dok mengutuk lelaki Kelantan tu, khabarnya taklah secantik mana akhlaknya. Itu yang dikhabarkan orang-orang yang ada sekeliling dia. Lagi sekali buat aku nak gelak pecah perut.
Dalamm gelak-gelak tu, aku dok terpikir jugak. Apa pasal orang lelaki Kelantan selalu kena kutuk kaw-kaw punya? Tak cukup semangkuk, depa bagi sebaldi pulak kutukan pada lelaki kelantan. Kemudian, sampai habis satu Kelantan depa dok kutuk. Sian sungguh aku pada nasib orang senegeri dengan aku. Nak-nak sejantina dengan aku yang lahir kat Kelantan dan juga bernombor 03 di tengah-tengah dalam IC diorang.
Tapi yang aku pelik, kenapa orang lain tak kutuk pulak orang negeri lain? Atau pun tak banding-bandingkan lelaki dari negeri lain. Kire aneh la nih sebenarnya. Bak kata orang jawa, ini diskriminasi!
Aku tak pedulik la apa orang nak kata pasal orang-orang Kelantan. Aku lahir kat Kelantan, my first few years of my life aku dibesarkan kat sana. Walaupun aku dah takleh nak cakap sangat dialek Kelantan, still aku boleh paham apa orang Kelantan cakap. Tak ada masalah, bereh! Aku bangga dengan tempat lahir aku. In fact, aku bangga kalau orang kata Pasir Mas tu tempat gewe-gewe comey. Tuh kelantan tuhhh..
In fact, aku bangga jugak tengok ramai anak-anak Kelantan yang berjaya dalam bidang perniagaan. Tu satu pencapaian yang bagus.
Ada pernah kawan perempuan aku sekali cakap, dia tak nak kawen dengan orang lelaki Kelantan. Bagi aku, okaylah. Itu pendapat dia. Tapi toksahlah nak besar-besarkan isu-isu di sebaliknya. Mana lah tahu, kot dapat betul laki orang Kelate, tak ke haru? Jilat ludah sendiri, bak kata peribahasa orang Melayu.
Bagi aku, aku hormat semua orang baik dari negeri Sabah sampai ke Perlis. Masing-masing ada hebatnya, masing-masing ada buruknya. Just because I had bad experience dealing with some people from some state, it doesn't mean I have the right to stereotype them. It's just unfair. It even becomes unfair when people start to exaggerate the whole stereotype issues. That is so wrong and puerile.
Manusia ni bermacam-macam perangainya. Itu hakikat. Itu kelebihan dan kekurangan kita. Samada mahu kita terima atau tak, tepuk dahi tanya hati. Boleh? Tapi jangan sampai melampau batas. Sendiri mau ingat la kawan, kan?
Monday, November 20, 2006
Dating Is Good for the Soul
Dating isn't just a road to marriage -- it's spiritually good for you, too.
By Donna Freitas
Donna FreitasIt's Friday. You have a 7 p.m. date scheduled with someone you've had your eye on for a while—he's smart, good-looking, and funny. Just for kicks, you visit a fortune-teller for the inside scoop on your future with this guy. At first, the seer's words lull you into what feels like eternal bliss: this date has great potential.
But she doesn't stop there, and your steadily growing excitement is suddenly crushed like that scary bug you saw on the bathroom floor the night before. Apparently, after two years of relationship paradise, something will shift. Eventually, you will go your separate ways. Your once fluttering heart drops like a stone through your body.
Unfortunately for many singles, if someone could give us a damage/risk assessment for every possible date, we'd probably choose to remain at home alone in front of the TV instead of going out with anyone. Lurking behind the innocent question "Do you want to go for coffee?" lies the hope that this date will turn out to be a soul mate, that you will be compatible, and that you will build a future together.
Dating has spiritual value
Our culture's obsession with marriage only furthers the idea that dating should be for the sake of marriage. This view of dating can easily make us forget that dating has spiritual value in and of itself. We need to stop focusing on its potential for marriage and accept its temporary nature. Dating can help us to grow spiritually -- if we allow it to.
While it is not quite friendship and not quite marriage, dating shares similar qualities with both types of relationships. Through all of these relationships we learn about other people, and in turn about ourselves, who we are, what we like and dislike, and what it means to be in a good or not-so-good relationship.
The spark of intimacy that turns a dinner with a friend into a date is the same spark that holds the seeds of spiritual possibility.
Divine intimacy
Countless theologians and spiritual figures understand setting out on a spiritual path as waking up to the possibility of divine intimacy, an experience “sparked” in much the same way our interest in dating another person begins. Upon discovering God, Methodism founder John Wesley described his heart as strangely warmed, Catholic theologian Bernard Lonergan talked of suddenly falling in love and seeing the world anew, and the Persian poet Kahlil Gibran, urges that "when love beckons to you, follow him." Hafiz, the fourteenth-century Sufi master and poet, described loving God as if a game of tag. In playing, God flirtatiously tags us as "It."
As with divine love, going out on a date is like an invitation to mystery: the mystery being both the other person, as well as the depths within ourselves we have yet to discover. Dating encourages us to take leaps of faith into the unknown, to invest ourselves, even for a short time, in the idea of a relationship, in opening ourselves up to someone new, and in presenting ourselves in our best form.
There's no denying that heartbreak is part of the deal, as it is with any relationship -- marital, friendly, and even divine. No relationship comes with a guarantee, not even a godly one. A broken heart is not an indication that God is punishing us; it is the very human experience of knowing that we have loved, an experience foundational to spiritual growth, one that can lead to a deepening relationship with the divine, and a growing understanding within ourselves of what it means to love another.
Forget the need to know the future
If we allow it to, dating can encourage self-transcendence, asking of us that we forget the constant need to know the future, encouraging us instead to see another person as an end in themselves. Our contemporary dating sensibilities too often make us forget about the person before us in favor of the aisle we hope to walk down some time in the future. Rather than seeing our date as a person worth at least an hour of conversation, we instead subject them to our respective checklists and interview them as a means to another end: for the job as our future mate, forgetting the tried and true religious teaching of treating someone else as we would wish to be treated, as worthy of an investment of our time.
So, when 7 p.m. rolls around and your date comes by, reconsider your approach to the man or woman knocking on the door. We would do well to take the advice of that fourteenth century Sufi poet, and bask in the idea that at least for the night, we've been tagged as "It." We are free to learn, share, and grow, whether it lasts the evening, or a lifetime.
P/S: Some girls are paranoid when guys ask them to go out on date. (Duhh...we men don't ask girls to marry tomorrow after the casual date, ok?) That I know.
Dating isn't just a road to marriage -- it's spiritually good for you, too.
By Donna Freitas
Donna FreitasIt's Friday. You have a 7 p.m. date scheduled with someone you've had your eye on for a while—he's smart, good-looking, and funny. Just for kicks, you visit a fortune-teller for the inside scoop on your future with this guy. At first, the seer's words lull you into what feels like eternal bliss: this date has great potential.
But she doesn't stop there, and your steadily growing excitement is suddenly crushed like that scary bug you saw on the bathroom floor the night before. Apparently, after two years of relationship paradise, something will shift. Eventually, you will go your separate ways. Your once fluttering heart drops like a stone through your body.
Unfortunately for many singles, if someone could give us a damage/risk assessment for every possible date, we'd probably choose to remain at home alone in front of the TV instead of going out with anyone. Lurking behind the innocent question "Do you want to go for coffee?" lies the hope that this date will turn out to be a soul mate, that you will be compatible, and that you will build a future together.
Dating has spiritual value
Our culture's obsession with marriage only furthers the idea that dating should be for the sake of marriage. This view of dating can easily make us forget that dating has spiritual value in and of itself. We need to stop focusing on its potential for marriage and accept its temporary nature. Dating can help us to grow spiritually -- if we allow it to.
While it is not quite friendship and not quite marriage, dating shares similar qualities with both types of relationships. Through all of these relationships we learn about other people, and in turn about ourselves, who we are, what we like and dislike, and what it means to be in a good or not-so-good relationship.
The spark of intimacy that turns a dinner with a friend into a date is the same spark that holds the seeds of spiritual possibility.
Divine intimacy
Countless theologians and spiritual figures understand setting out on a spiritual path as waking up to the possibility of divine intimacy, an experience “sparked” in much the same way our interest in dating another person begins. Upon discovering God, Methodism founder John Wesley described his heart as strangely warmed, Catholic theologian Bernard Lonergan talked of suddenly falling in love and seeing the world anew, and the Persian poet Kahlil Gibran, urges that "when love beckons to you, follow him." Hafiz, the fourteenth-century Sufi master and poet, described loving God as if a game of tag. In playing, God flirtatiously tags us as "It."
As with divine love, going out on a date is like an invitation to mystery: the mystery being both the other person, as well as the depths within ourselves we have yet to discover. Dating encourages us to take leaps of faith into the unknown, to invest ourselves, even for a short time, in the idea of a relationship, in opening ourselves up to someone new, and in presenting ourselves in our best form.
There's no denying that heartbreak is part of the deal, as it is with any relationship -- marital, friendly, and even divine. No relationship comes with a guarantee, not even a godly one. A broken heart is not an indication that God is punishing us; it is the very human experience of knowing that we have loved, an experience foundational to spiritual growth, one that can lead to a deepening relationship with the divine, and a growing understanding within ourselves of what it means to love another.
Forget the need to know the future
If we allow it to, dating can encourage self-transcendence, asking of us that we forget the constant need to know the future, encouraging us instead to see another person as an end in themselves. Our contemporary dating sensibilities too often make us forget about the person before us in favor of the aisle we hope to walk down some time in the future. Rather than seeing our date as a person worth at least an hour of conversation, we instead subject them to our respective checklists and interview them as a means to another end: for the job as our future mate, forgetting the tried and true religious teaching of treating someone else as we would wish to be treated, as worthy of an investment of our time.
So, when 7 p.m. rolls around and your date comes by, reconsider your approach to the man or woman knocking on the door. We would do well to take the advice of that fourteenth century Sufi poet, and bask in the idea that at least for the night, we've been tagged as "It." We are free to learn, share, and grow, whether it lasts the evening, or a lifetime.
P/S: Some girls are paranoid when guys ask them to go out on date. (Duhh...we men don't ask girls to marry tomorrow after the casual date, ok?) That I know.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Setulus Bahasa
Dalam surat khabar hujung minggu baru-baru ni, Ramli MS ada memberi komen tentang peranan bahasa dalam muzik. Lebih-lebih lagi pada senikata lagu orang Melayu kita. Katanya, lagu dulu-dulu banyak nasihat dan kaya dengan kehalusan seni bahasa. Berbanding dengan lagu sekarang, ianya ada banyak bercirikan puitis. Kata orang muda, ianya 'jiwang'.
Kusangka aur di pinggir tebing
Kiranya tebu di pinggir bibir
Kusangka jujur pancaran batin
Rupanya palsu penghias zahir
Kukira hati jiwa nurani
Suci seindah wajah terbayang
Kukira puji seikhlas budi
Kulupa lidah tidak bertulang
Aku berkesempatan mendengar lagu-lagu Melayu asli masa pulang dari Kuala Krai ke Kuala Lumpur. Bayangkan 6, 7 jam dalam kereta sambil dengan lagu nyanyian Tan Sri SM Salim semasa konsert yang diadakan bersama MPO dulu.
Lagu-lagu dulu memang banyak selitkan unsur-unsur nasihat. Terutama dalam perjalanan hidup, baik sebagai orang muda mahu pun sebagai seorang yang sudah 'veteran'. Tapi tak kurang juga lagi-lagu lama yang 'jiwang'. Jiwang orang dulu-dulu tak sama dengan jiwang orang zaman sekarang. Kata mak pada seorang kawan aku dulu, orang dulu-dulu kalau rindukan seseorang, biar dapat tengok atap rumah orang tu pun jadilah. Orang zaman sekarang, bila rindukan seseorang, di sms nya orang tu sampai habis kredit. Tak pun, sampai habis bateri cellphone.
Di manis gula semut binasa
Kail berduri bersalut umpan
Di manis kata insan terlena
Kerana budi, hamba terkorban
Inikah dia, lakonan hidup
Di pentas dunia, insan berpura
Tipu dan daya pencapai maksud
Budi dan harta merangkum noda - Tak Seindah Wajah, Tan Sri SM Salim
Dulu-dulu, orang kita suka gunakan bahasa berlapik. Bahasanya halus tapi makan dalam. Bunyinya hormat tapi maksudnya sampai jauh ke perdu hati. Itulah orang dulu-dulu kata, "Tak paham bahasa!", maksudnya dah habis bersembur air liur nak berlapik cakap tapi tak faham-faham juga. Elok ditampar ajer! Eh, eh, eh...tak lah macam tu. Elok disepak ajer.
Tapi orang kita zaman sekarang, oleh kerana masa berlalu dengan cepat dan kita terkejar-kejar dengan banyak urusan, boleh jadi tak sempat-sempat nak fahamkan bahasa. Sebab tu kita suka guna bahasa direct. Akhirnya kita jadi kasar. Bahasa kita jadi hambar, tiada bunganya dan tiada serinya. Bukanlah kita nak suruh berbunga-bunga selalu bahasanya. Menyampah pulak orang mendengarnya. Cuma lebih elok dan lebih manis kalau bahasa kita teratur, lembut dan bersopan.
Okay ler, nak tamatkan entry ni dengan satu lagu Melayu asli. Setulus bahasa orang kita, seindah hasratnya dan secantik gubahan lagunya.
Dalam surat khabar hujung minggu baru-baru ni, Ramli MS ada memberi komen tentang peranan bahasa dalam muzik. Lebih-lebih lagi pada senikata lagu orang Melayu kita. Katanya, lagu dulu-dulu banyak nasihat dan kaya dengan kehalusan seni bahasa. Berbanding dengan lagu sekarang, ianya ada banyak bercirikan puitis. Kata orang muda, ianya 'jiwang'.
Kusangka aur di pinggir tebing
Kiranya tebu di pinggir bibir
Kusangka jujur pancaran batin
Rupanya palsu penghias zahir
Kukira hati jiwa nurani
Suci seindah wajah terbayang
Kukira puji seikhlas budi
Kulupa lidah tidak bertulang
Aku berkesempatan mendengar lagu-lagu Melayu asli masa pulang dari Kuala Krai ke Kuala Lumpur. Bayangkan 6, 7 jam dalam kereta sambil dengan lagu nyanyian Tan Sri SM Salim semasa konsert yang diadakan bersama MPO dulu.
Lagu-lagu dulu memang banyak selitkan unsur-unsur nasihat. Terutama dalam perjalanan hidup, baik sebagai orang muda mahu pun sebagai seorang yang sudah 'veteran'. Tapi tak kurang juga lagi-lagu lama yang 'jiwang'. Jiwang orang dulu-dulu tak sama dengan jiwang orang zaman sekarang. Kata mak pada seorang kawan aku dulu, orang dulu-dulu kalau rindukan seseorang, biar dapat tengok atap rumah orang tu pun jadilah. Orang zaman sekarang, bila rindukan seseorang, di sms nya orang tu sampai habis kredit. Tak pun, sampai habis bateri cellphone.
Di manis gula semut binasa
Kail berduri bersalut umpan
Di manis kata insan terlena
Kerana budi, hamba terkorban
Inikah dia, lakonan hidup
Di pentas dunia, insan berpura
Tipu dan daya pencapai maksud
Budi dan harta merangkum noda - Tak Seindah Wajah, Tan Sri SM Salim
Dulu-dulu, orang kita suka gunakan bahasa berlapik. Bahasanya halus tapi makan dalam. Bunyinya hormat tapi maksudnya sampai jauh ke perdu hati. Itulah orang dulu-dulu kata, "Tak paham bahasa!", maksudnya dah habis bersembur air liur nak berlapik cakap tapi tak faham-faham juga. Elok ditampar ajer! Eh, eh, eh...tak lah macam tu. Elok disepak ajer.
Tapi orang kita zaman sekarang, oleh kerana masa berlalu dengan cepat dan kita terkejar-kejar dengan banyak urusan, boleh jadi tak sempat-sempat nak fahamkan bahasa. Sebab tu kita suka guna bahasa direct. Akhirnya kita jadi kasar. Bahasa kita jadi hambar, tiada bunganya dan tiada serinya. Bukanlah kita nak suruh berbunga-bunga selalu bahasanya. Menyampah pulak orang mendengarnya. Cuma lebih elok dan lebih manis kalau bahasa kita teratur, lembut dan bersopan.
Okay ler, nak tamatkan entry ni dengan satu lagu Melayu asli. Setulus bahasa orang kita, seindah hasratnya dan secantik gubahan lagunya.
Mohon Kasih
Ku bermohon kasih, Ku bermohon sayang
Padamu wahai kumbang
Dalam rindu kasih hamba tak berdaya
Menempuh jiwa siksa (2 x)
Kasihanilah hamba....
Merayu sehingga merana...
Wajahmu menawan hingga tertawan
Menjadi idaman (2 x)
Hai muda bistari
Kumbang madah suci
Yang menawan hati
Hamba mohon kasih, harapan nan bersih
Ku puja dikau saja (2 x)
Kasihanilah hamba
Merindu balasan darimu
Hati ku tertawan tak dapat kutahan
Engkaulah idaman
Friday, November 03, 2006
Dua hari sudah aku bermimpi. Aku rasa mimpi aku tu sangat real. Aku mimpi dia duduk di sebelah aku. Dia nampak sangat jealous dengan perempuan lain yang cuba bermanja dengan aku. Jadi dia pun rapatkan dirinya pada aku as in she wants to show, "He is mine!".
Aku pun tersedar dari tidur aku. Terbaring kat katil sambil blur-blur tengok siling bilik aku. Aku still terasa pipi aku disentuh oleh pipi dia. Rasa sangat real. Wonder if that is a glimpse of future, or it was my deepest desire? God knows the truth.
Aku pun tersedar dari tidur aku. Terbaring kat katil sambil blur-blur tengok siling bilik aku. Aku still terasa pipi aku disentuh oleh pipi dia. Rasa sangat real. Wonder if that is a glimpse of future, or it was my deepest desire? God knows the truth.