Hoorayyyy!! I Graduated!!

Yesterday evening was my graduation from Advanced Course in AsiaWork training series. And now I lost my voice due to the extreme situations occurred within the training room in AsiaWorks.

The past 5 days had been challenging to my self belief and my own emotional capabilities. I was cursed repeatedly for not being real, for playing masquerade in my life, for being arrogant bastard and coward in not showing my own emotion in life. The first two days I had this intention to quit the program because I thought this was too much for me to handle.

I am not allowed to speak of what was happening in the training room for I gave my commitment of not disclosing this to the public. I broke that commitment once by sharing it with my dearest friend. Yes, I felt guilty about it. No matter what reason I used to justify it, it is not enough because I broke my commitment.

During the graduation ceremony, we all were given an instruction to close our eyes. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see Sazzy Falak stood in front of me with a card in her hand. She was one of the individuals (together with Nash & Linda) who persuaded me to attend this course. I hugged her and broke down on her shoulder. I kept saying, "Sazzy, I dont know it was so hard...it was so hard!". Sobbing like a little kid.

Sazzy wrote this in my card,"F@rid Dearest, FLY! Fly like the seagull that you are!". And Nash wrote," My Guy! My Yoda! You're that powerful loving man! Keep Growing!". Love, Nash. He even wrote his contract in the card, "Free, Beautiful, Passionate, Loving Man". Yes you are Nash. Yes you are!

My dad was also there. I surprised myself by walking towards him and gave him a hug. I said to him, "Papa, Ayed sayang papa!". Of course..that was a real stretch to me. A real fucking strech! Seri witnessed that. I felt totally relieved after saying that to my dad. I wished my mom could be there. So my mom could see who I really am - to see me achieving my breakthrough.

Thank you Seri, Nash & Sazzy, Jash, Linda, Eddie & wife, Lawrence, Tam, Raymond and many more who I overlooked that day for coming to my graduation. Thank you very much for the love and support you all show and give to me.



To Jennifer, my small group leader in Basic Course, thank you for your support although you couldn't make it. Thank you for the stick as well. I felt very humble to accept the stick from you. You are my 'seagull'!

I also received a few sticks or a vote of life from few people. I'd like to highlight their names here in my blog as to express my appreciation to them.

To Linda, my upline. Thank you for supporting me despite of my ungrateful character shown to you. I totally agree with your note on the stick," F@rid Lives! There is a time to let things happen and a time to make things happen!".

To Niney & Carliff, thank you for coming to both of my Basic and Advanced Course. I don't know you much but you both have been supportive through my friendship with you.

To Lawrence, thank you for your vote. You are my inspiration to enjoy life to the fullest and age has nothing to do with a meaning of happiness, wisdom and passion.

It feels good to finally made a breakthrough in my own life. This program does not change me in a way I become some supermen or anything close to that. However, this program gives me an opportunity to be opened to possibilities in life by shifting the way I respond in my life. Nothing happens by accident really; it happens because I made the decision and chose the options. And I have come to realization that in real life, there is no second chance. I wait, I lose. New second means new experience, new people means new experience. I have accepted my past as the past and now it's the time to make something meaningful in my life by giving my very best to every second of my life.

I am committed to live every second of my life in accordance to my contract; I am a loving, caring and confident man!

I AM
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Something to Write About

Last Saturday I was in Damansara Perdana for the routine training of my group. As usual I started my day of training with a bottle of mineral water from the 7-Eleven store near the office. On the way to that drugstore, I noticed from the beginning that there were a few people unloaded this one makcik from a car. The reason I used the word unloaded here is because the makcik is an amputee and she needed an assistance to get out from the car. And yeah, to make it more interesting, she's quite a plump size to be placed in a wheelchair.

I suspected that this lady could probably a diabetic patient and probably due to the seriousness of the illness which she has; her leg has to be amputated.

I saw two men and one lady were assisting her getting out from the car. They must be her relatives though. They brought this makcik into the building only realizing that the staircase was too narrow for her wheelchair to get through.

I watched them closely from the outside door. Geezz..it seemed to me that they were having some trouble to lift her from the floor and carried her up through the staircase and finally landed before the elevator. I worried if they used wrong technique to lift the wheelchair, they might break that wheelchair. Even worst, they could cause some danger to the person on that wheelchair.

So I decided to intervene.



No wonder they were having trouble to lift the lady. One of the two men didn't have the strength. So I offered them of my assistance. Oh boy, the lady is indeed heavy! I should have stretched my back before I offered them my aid. I told them not to touch the wheels. I even showed them the correct way to lift a wheelchair with a person on it.

I feel good when I could use some of the knowledge I learned during my participation with People With Disabilities (PWD) with people around me.

It's okay for me to have some back ache after that. It's okay for me to sweat a bit after helping them at the stairway.

This is my way of changing the world. One random act of kindness at a time. The smiles that they gave to me afterwards are priceless. And the feeling of contented did lift my spirit immediately.

So, what say you? Shall we all do one random act of kindness each day in our lives?

I think we should.

Each Day is An Adventurous Day

Today is my second lesson in golf. The first time was at the driving range next to OU Mall last week. The first lesson wasn't that bad. I must be grateful to have friend who knows how to swing a golf club. That was my first touch. The next day I got back ache and blister hands.

But today I learned from a pro himself. I asked my friend's dad who is a golf enthusiast to teach me how to properly swing a golf club. Okay, this time was really good. Uncle B taught me the correct posture of how to swing the ball. Seriously, I was sweating like pig today. Sakit belakang tu memang toksah cakap ler - a side effect from an accident 7 years ago.

I hit 200 balls today. The last 20 balls were the good swings. Each went straight and consistently fell within the range of 50 meter. Really, I felt good at the driving range. Not a bad start for someone who knows shit about golf.



Oh yeah, by the way, I had my first facial treatment last Saturday. That first moment is shared with my good friend. Malu siall aku jerit-jerit cam haram sebab geli bila orang tu start apply lotion kat muka ngan tengkuk aku. I felt exhausted after that facial...maybe because I was too tired of restraining myself from getting tickled at my neck.

Well, that is my story for the weekend.

Pancit.

Penat.

I had some business dealing in Banting yesterday. The business was successful although it was half done. Nevermind, let the one who responsibles on that matter to handle it. I did more than what I supposed to do.

I stopped two times while I was driving on KESAS highway. First, it was at Kinrara R&R. Then the next stop was just before the car climbed up the flyover near Jalan Cheras. I felt very lethargic. I decided to pull over and rested for about 5 minutes. I closed my eyes, hoping for the fatigue to go away.

I finally managed to get home. After I'm done with maghrib prayer, I quickly locked myself in my room and tried to get a rest. Oh boy, why am I so difficult to get good rest nowadays.

Yeah...I am pushing myself. I have a few personal goals which I want to achieve before the end of this year. Besides, working makes my mind active and not wandering on something unnecessary. Especially on someone or something.

Alrite, these are my remaining goals for this year.

1. I have savings of RM 100,000 in my Public Bank saving account by December 31, 2007.
2. I am sending my parents to Baitullah through comfortable package (~RM15,000 per person package) with my own money.
3. I am giving away RM10,000 of scholarship to students in need before the school opens next year (which is by Dec. 31st, 2007).
4. I have a group of 20 dynamic, hardworking and passionate members by December 31st, 2007.
5. My ticket to Hokkaido, Japan must be secured by December 1st 2007.

Goals achieved this year
1. I bought a brand new black Toyota Camry.
2. I broke my personal limit of RM 100,000 investment in last April. I closed RM 1,390,00 investment. Damn it makes me feel good about myself! :D
3. I achieved five figure income for the second time in May. My paycheck was at RM 39,637.
4. I am doing a charity work by giving a free tuition (2 times/week) for PMR students at orphanage house in Taman Melawati since January this year.



Goals for next year
1. I own a piece of property (single storey bungalow) by August 31st, 2008.
2. I gain consistent five figure income at minimum RM 15,000 per month beginning February 7th, 2008.
3. I have 50 outstanding, go-getter and cooperative members in my group by December 31st, 2008.
4. I am living a healthy and well balanced life. I create mutual friendship with all my clients.
5. I perform umrah & visit in March 2008.

I believe all my goals are achievable. Someone accomplished them in different time period. If they could do it, what can stop me from achieving my own goals? How could I be so sure about this?

No, I'm not that 100% sure about things around me. I'm not sure if Pak Lah is still a Prime Minister of M'sia by next year. I'm not sure if our Kuala Lumpur Index Composite can surpasses psychology barrier of 1390 points. Heck, I don't know if I'm still alive tomorrow.


But I know one thing for sure - myself. I know I will kick my own ass real hard in getting what I want in life and nobody can stop me for that matter. I give no excuse to myself, I make no complaint, I do not blame others for things happen to me. I have choices every day and I responsible on the choices I made for myself. Some bad decisions were made in the past and they will definitely be recorded in my life but I also believe I did make some good decisions too in my life. So, it's not that bad at all.

Life is still a pretty good adventure so far.

I met an interesting old chap at Putrajaya Lake Club House tonight. It wasn't an intentional meeting. I had a celebration dinner for SAS band members there. The oldboys of SAS Band, including myself, sponsored this party for the current members for their hatrick winning in All SBP Wind Orchestra competition months ago.

It started as to have this old chap as entertainer at the lake club house. He sang pretty good and I must admit that he has good voice for singing some tunes from 70s and 80s. Those light and easy songs really get me relaxed.

After the whole party ended, he approached our table. It was only me, Irma and Fakhri, still chilling and borak2 with each other over cup of coffee. Yeah, we introduced each other and getting acquainted.

He had quite an interesting story about himself. I first suspected that he is a Chinese because of his look and his fluent English. I was wrong then. He is a Singaporean Malay. He is in Malaysia, being singer at club house and hotel and earns a pretty good income. At that point, we were wondering how old is he now.

What makes him interesting to me when he shared with us about his past. About his awakening, his alcoholic period and his call. Being curious myself, I asked him many things about what he did in the past and how did he end up here in KL. He also shared with us about his view about spirituality and his practice in this area.

You see, being spiritual and being religious are two distinctively different character. I can be religious but now spiritual or I can be spiritual without being religious about it. So, in my view, he is a spiritual person. He connects with his awareness and his surrounding. He internalizes many positive values in life and thrives in hardship of life.

My last comment before I left him at the club house was about his colorful past. He said, "Be careful, colors are deceitful. Once you mix all the colors, all you get is white. Now for me, it's white and black". I grinned and nodded.

Hmmm..good and insightful advices came without expectation and these advices are important for young people like myself and my other two friends. We agreed that we learned something new tonight. About connection with God, about having faith in Him during the trial period and about surviving under His Mercy.