Why the World Doesn't Need Superman?

Man of Steel. That is what people have been calling him since he was born in 1930s. He is capable of doing the unthinkable by the mortal men. He is faster than a firing bullet, tougher than a steel and yet kinder than a mere gentleman. He is Superman.

Watching Superman Returns in film screen last night, again sent some sentimental feeling to me. Yes, I was raised during those four films of Superman were a hit in the tv. The hero back then was the late Christopher Reeve. An unknown actor taken from nowhere went to his stardom after he was announced as Superman.

Why Superman is a hit? Superman is a social symbol for justice. He is a manifestation of an ideal where men are equal through the eye of law. Superman's character is the accumulation of all the positive values of which men are lacking of. People yearn for the ideals. People are searching for the utopia like the searching of Shangri-La.

My personal view says we don't need to go that far to look for Superman. The Superman is nowhere but within us. He is waiting to be unleashed. He is waiting to be born by the human conscience for true justice, equality, moral values and social obligations. For one to be Superman, one must look beyond cultural barrier, religion idealogy, social circle and nationality.. These are the stumbling blocks for many men to share the common values. The common desire to have the world as a better place for the rest of us.

A man does not have to fly or to beam laser for his eyes or to be strong as steel. A man is strengthen by his consciousness to the issues I mentioned earlier. Love is the main theme. Love for humanity, love for the nature and love for the loved ones. Only this can cure many catastrophic situations in this world today.

I wonder when Superman will be filmed to help the Palestinians from being attacked by Israel.

Hari Ini Aku Sangat Happy

Nak tahu sebab apa? Sebab aku berjaya menjahit kaki seluar aku dengan jahitan yang sangat cantik, berseni dan teliti. Nampaknya, memang bakat menjahit ada dalam aku ni. Dah lama tangan ni tak jahit menjahit..tak hilang-hilang jugak skill tu. Muahahahaha!!

Aku sangat happy and tak abih-abih pandang kaki seluar aku. Perghhh!!!

Semua Untuk Mu



dengarlah bisikan angin bayu
dengarlah bisikan oh hatiku
bagaikan sebuah melodi cinta murni
semua adalah untukmu


walaupun dalam laut ku selami
walaupun tinggi gunung ke jejaki
ku rela tempuhi rintangan yang ada
semua demi cinta suci


tanpa dirimu hidup tak bererti
tahukah kau cintaku murni
jangan kau pergi dirimu tiada ganti
harapan yang ada tersemat dijiwa
semoga kau sentiasa di sisi..ooo..

usah kau ragui keikhlasanku
usah kau ragui oh hasratku
ku serah seluruh jiwa dan cintaku
semua adalah untukmu


tanpa dirimu hidup tak bererti
tahukah kau cintaku murni..ooo..
jangan kau pergi dirimu tiada ganti
akan ku berjanji oh aku berjanji
semua adalah untukmu


tanpa dirimu hidup tak bererti
tahukah engkau cintaku suci dan murni
jangan kau pergi dirimu tiada ganti
akan ku berjanji oh aku berjanji
segala harapan tersemat dijiwa
semoga kau sentiasa di sisi

p/s: Jumpe member lame ni masa jalan-jalan kat KL Motorshow. Mintak dia sign autograph plus tulis sikit kata-kata semangat untuk member jauh.

A Guy's Point! Please Read and Understand It!

I received this from my sweet and lovely sister, Hamizah, through email. Hmm..the more I read it, the more I agree with the email said. Actually, I totally agree with everything it says especially the last one. Some of my girlfriends do have that kind of relationship but they just cannot shake it out. Hmmm..guess it takes some courage to walk away from a relationship, huh? - Alang.

You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99% of girls dont realize it till it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice.

From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off!

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning.
_________________________________________

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
_________________________________________

Yeah, you can quote me.
_________________________________________

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in.

LET US PAY FOR YOU!

DON'T "FEEL BAD"

We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say "thank you."
_________________________________________

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
_________________________________________

You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.

Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up

_________________________________________

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.
_________________________________________

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartny is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
_________________________________________

Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful"

I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of.

on the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it either ;)
_________________________________________

Girls, I cannot stress this enough:

IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY, DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say "i love you" ...

....AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!

Kenduri Kendara

Semalam aku attend dua kenduri. Satu kenduri di Klang Gate and satu lagi di Dewan Merak Kayangan, Jalan Semarak.



Seronok dapat attend kenduri kat Dewan Merak Kayangan. Bukanlah disebabkan adanya aircond and ada budak-budak kecik menarik zapin ke...tapi disebabkan dapat lepak balik dengan budak-budak Alam Shah. Although tak ramai yang datang. Maybe sebab Shooke tak ikut updated list yang ada dalam mailing list, but some of us managed to show up masa wedding reception dia. Wedding reception tu agak nice la bagi aku.

First of all because ada persembahan budak-budak dari badan kesenian negeri Johor. Riuh stage dekat pelamin tu sebab diorang berjoget lambak kat situ. Secondly sebab ada tazkirah pendek yang ustaz yang rajen kluar bagik ceramah kat TV3 tu. Menarik juga isi kandungan tazkirah dia tu. Macam sama ajer dengan isi khutbah nikah masa Angah nak kawen dulu. Kelakar gak la.



Bila dah ada ramai budak-budak batch aku kahwin, of course la diorang datang kenduri kahwin orang dengan bini-bini diorang. Yang kesiannya, bila laki-laki diorang ni tinggalkan diorang and melepak dengan orang-orang yang bujang macam aku ni...tinggal lah diorang terkulat-kulat kat meja makan. Kitorang namakan diorang ni Alam Shah Darling. Hahahaha..nama cam agak aneh jugak la kan...Alam Shah what? Alam Shah Darling!!



Waktu siangnya pulak aku pi makan free kat Klang Gate. Jumpa kawan-kawan waktu sekolah rendah dulu. Akhirnya Rozie kahwin juga ye! Tapi husband dia kena sabar ler tunggu bulan 11 baru leh dapat terbang sama-sama dengan Rozie ke Holland untuk sambung study.

Kenkawan lelaki takde la pulak tunjuk muka. Yang nampak si Roza, Nora and Haniza. Hmm....Haniza kata dia nak tambah lagi anaknya. Aduhhhh...kencang sungguh dia ni! Tapi takpe, mujur tambah anak..jangan tambah laki udah ler ye??



Bila ada kat sana, aku blur-blur jugak pasal aku ada cam muka-muka kawan lama tapi nama tak ingat. Rasa bersalah pun ada bila ada orang ingat aku tapi aku tak ingat dia. Now dia dah jadik doktor bahagian sakit puan kat HKL. Terangkat-angkat kening aku nak kasik ingat balik muka and nama dia. Ish ish ishhhh...

Friendship is sacred to me. It really is because I spent most of my time with friends. I was taken away from my family since I was 13 till I furthered my studies abroad. During those times, friends are the place where I seek comfort and familial love. So, yeah..friends are important to me.

I tried my best to be a good friend. An accomodating friend. But when it comes to a point where my friendship is not being appreciated, I think the best way for me to evade from being hurt is by withdrawing myself from the friendship. Of course I care about my friends, but if they are no longer caring for me, it is rather pointless for me to keep continuing caring for them.

It's not about the money. It's not about title, skin color or religion. It is about appreciation. It is about being sensitive towards other friends.

Especially when I had professed to them that I care about them so much. So much so that I'm willing to stick with them and bringing out the best in them in my own way.

I'm not looking for anyone's flaw. I'm just taking care of myself from getting hurt again and from being taken for granted again.

Half Life Crisis?

Orang kata, kita ambil iktibar daripada kejadian yang menimpa orang lain. Mungkin itu betul..dan mungkin ada yang tak betulnya. Every coin has two sides, kan?

Well anyway today I was quite shocked to hear the bad news about the marriage status of one of my friends. Dari permulaan yang sihat hingga ke detik-detik 'retak menanti belah', siapa sangka ianya akan berakhir begini?

Kadang aku terfikir, apa punca utama bila kita mendirikan rumahtangga? Adakah kerana kita sangka dia sangat sesuai untuk kita? Adakah kerana kita yakin kita dapat mengubah seseorang untuk kebahagian kita? Apakah ada satu jiwa bersatu dalam hubungan dua jiwa?

It is rubbish to believe that we can change a person. It is rubbish to believe that two person can be one (unless during the love making). And it is also rubbish to abandon love during it is needed the most, frankly speaking.

Di saat-saat ramai kawan mendirikan masjid, rupanya ada satu masjid yang tinggal masa untuk rebah sujud ke bumi. Tapi kan, tuhan itu maha Adil, kan? Aku rasa tuhan tentu sudah sediakan perencanaan yang sebaiknya untuk kawan aku tu. Tiap perkara berlaku, ada nilai pendidikan. As I told him, "There is always hikmah behind in every shitty things happened".

Sometimes I wonder, do we ever think the reason why we commit to such action i.e, getting married?

Along Masuk Kosmo!

Aku perasan ade suratkhabar KOSMO kat rumah. Tak tahu sape punye, terus aku rembat bawak gi ke meja makan. Aku memang suka membaca ape saje bentuk bacaan. Poster tepi jalan pun aku baca!

Kalih-kalih kat suratkhabar tu..baru aku perasan ada cerita pasal satu group pergi panjat Gunung Everest. Pastu aku tilik-tilik gambar tu..macam kenal snow jacket tu. Macam aku punye jekkk?

Haa..memang sah snow jacket Timberland tu aku punya! Sebab aku perasan muka 'stone' along kat celah-celah kumpulan yang panjat gunung tu. Dalam laporan akhbar tu kata, Along kena AMS (acute mountain syndrome) masa dok panjat gunung tu. Yang lelain aku tak ingat sangat.

Along aku tu memang suka panjat gunung. Aku rasa dia tengah nak cari Puteri Gunung Everest kot lepas frust tak jumpa-jumpa puteri gunung-gunung kat M'sia ni. Rasanya dah habis semua gunung kat M'sia ni dia dok panjat dengan geng Kelab Orang Gunung dia. Almost sebulan juga dia ke Nepal. Dia rembat aku punya snow jacket, sweater GAP aku, snow glove aku, and digital camera aku. Bila dia balik dari Nepal tu, dia belikan t shirt Everest untuk aku ngan angah, and pashmina untuk mummy, kak rafidah (adik ipar dia) and Farah. Aku wonder gak, dapat tak dia jumpa Sasquatch ke..menarik gak kan kalo ada gambar Sasquatch!

Sex and sensibility
Salbiah Ahmad
SALBIAH AHMAD is a lawyer and an independent researcher. MALAYA! as the name for this column was inspired by the meaning of 'Malaya' in Tagalog which means freedom. The events at the end of 1998 in KL offer a new inspiration. MALAYA! takes o n the process of reclaiming the many facets of independence.

When a friend in Universiti Malaya e-mailed me news of the ‘misyar’ marriage in the local press, I replied that I have not heard of such a thing. There is, of course, the very well-known Shia mut'a marriage (a contract whose duration is determined by parties) which is viewed rather dimly by the Sunni school as being jurisprudentially suspect by their standards.

Malaysians are largely Shafii-Sunni. At the official level, our family laws include a variety of opinions from the Hanafi and Maliki jurists of the Sunni school. Anything Shia is taboo, thus mut'a is out of the question but the Sunni-driven misyar is a-ok.

A quick check on the Internet reveals that the misyar - or travellers' marriage - originates from the practice or 'urf (custom) of Saudi Arabian males. One site claims an antiquity dating back to 1825 in Egypt. It is quite interesting how easily the practice of particular males in one place is recommended as a practice to all and sundry and over females.

Several males of some repute, notably the Grand Imam Tantawi of Al Azhar (Egypt), PAS spiritual leader Nik Aziz Nik Mat and Prof Dr Mahmud Zuhdi Abdul Majid of Universiti Malaya give supporting arguments.

They assert that the misyar marriage fulfils the requirements of a valid marriage. That means ijab and kabul (offer and acceptance), a mahr (dowry) and consent of the parties. By the way, the Shia mut'a marriage requires the same elements.

What has always intrigued me as a lawyer is that the contract of marriage in Islam falls under the category of muamalat or transactions. Rights of humankind (haqq Adami) are subject to contract, thus always negotiable. I have mentioned this point earlier.

Prohibition in Islam

Sexual relations outside of marriage are prohibited in Islam. A marriage contract essentially allows sex to be contracted and negotiated between partners in what we assume to be parties with an equal bargaining position. Herein lies a problem.
While Muslim women have the legal personality to freely contract, her capacity to contract has been affected by how society (not the Quran) perceives her biologically (as of the female sex) and social constructions of her roles in society.

The basic elements to a standard marriage, the misyar marriage and the mut'a marriage are threefold - offer and acceptance, a dowry and informed consent.

The opposition to misyar and mut'a marriages claim that these contracts do not protect women. I think they do not protect women because there are more women who are not the social and economic equals to men. This is the point to be emphasised.

I do not think that a standard marriage as envisioned by our family laws is going to guarantee protection to women either. Thus any kind of marriage contract where there is no real equality and no equal bargaining power (decision-making) between the parties is, arguably, suspect. The state is allowed intervention in family matters as a matter of public policy.

Consent is a difficult notion in marriage law. When is consent informed and free? If a first wife fears that she would be divorced if she refuses to consent to her husband marrying another, would that be an informed and free consent?

If a female had consented to contract out her maintenance entitlements in a misyar marriage because she rather be married than face social stigma or ostracism for being unmarried, is her consent informed and free?

Standing in society

The law plays a limited role. I have always thought that it is always prudent to ensure that women are socially and economically empowered as men. This would be the better protection.

Some women may be protected by marriage, some women may not. Some women are better protected by a mut'a marriage, some women may not. Some women have no problems with polygamous unions, some women do. Some women derive their standing or title in society through their marriage, some women do not, nor even care to be married.

I really would like to see more views of women in these engagements and that of young adults. We already have a deluge of scholarly male views and views of particular women.

I entertain a suspicion that for financially independent women, the prospect of a Muslim marriage can be daunting in that the family law does not accord equality between males and females like for example in divorce, custody and guardianship matters.

I have friends married under civil laws in other countries who went through a Muslim marriage ceremony, but are secure in the knowledge that their marriage would be governed by civil law which has evolved more substantive equality principles in spousal obligations.

Negotiating sex

If negotiating sex becomes the crux of a misyar marriage, I would also like to see that sanction is given to the mut'a marriage. This seems to be the commonality between the two.

The misyar marriage is determined upon divorce and it becomes a little problematic when Muslim males here have easier access to divorce (like the talaq) than females. The mut'a marriage parties, in negotiating the terms of the contract, mutually agree to the end of the mut'a contract.

I cannot say if this would cause a major wave of licensed prostitution. Some sexual relations, however sanctioned, can be said to be nothing more than prostitution. We always have room for disagreement.

Again there is no real guarantee that parties are not short-changed, but there are more options for the faithful where sex is deemed illegal outside marriage. I believe that our young adults at home and abroad do contract mut'a marriages. The state can only do so much officially and much of our intimate private lives should remain private.

p/s: I do not support or condemn 'misyar' because I do not know the fiqh behind it. Whatever it is, I still prefer the old traditional wisdom of wedding and marriage.

Huge Disappointments

I don't usually count my disappointments. I rarely do. But today, it's an exception. The first one, it's not such a big deal compare to the latter.

The latter was a bit 'damning', if that word can be used to describe the feeling. My long time friend since childhood got married and I didn't get her wedding card. In fact, I got the news from another friend of ours. [Sigh].

We shared so many stories and experiences since Standard 5. We even shared the same kampung in Tanjung Karang. We kept in touch via snail mail even when we both went to boarding school; she went to southern peninsular and I stayed in KL. I maintained the communication with her when I went to the States for furthering my studies. Exchanging stories and sweet & bitter experiences living and studying alone in State College with her via phone calls and emails. Obediently listened to her while she told me about her fluctuating intimate relationship. Conspired with her to act as her boyfriend in a college formal dinner during my summer break just to make the guy she likes feel jealous. In fact, she's number one in my circle of trust.

And on her most celebrated day.... I didn't get an invitation. A huge disappointment!

I called her just now to say congratulations. She apologized and said sorry. She said she tried to contact me a few times but none is successful. Even her mom said sorry. I could only say, "Hmm...hu uh...hmm..ok..". Don't know much to say. She invited me to come to her house. I don't know if I should come or not. Somehow, the idea of visiting an old friend now sounds foreign to me.

I forgave her. But I will not forget this. I guess people do change their core over period of time.

[sigh]

Some...times

Sometimes.... yes, there are times when the word "give up" lurking behind every corner I pass. It comes and go every often. Sometimes, it almost gets me to the point of quitting my journey and ends the adventure which I'm enjoying right now. But one thing always keeps pushing me forward is the advice from a book, "You can always quit, but why now?".

Indeed, it applies in many things in my life. It worths beyond treasure of King Solomon has. I may lag sometimes, but I ain't dead. I may feel fear, but it's not enough to kill my desire to accomplish anything I yearn for.

Wealth. Success. Love. Friendship. Happiness

Friendly Reminder

I found this Mexican proverb from the blog of the sexiest & funniest old man (jange maghoh Pok Ku deh?) in KL, "It's not enough to know how to ride; you must also know how to fall".



A very good reminder and also a prudent encouragement to those who want to excel in their life. And to get whatever they want in their life.

Updated Fotopages

Okay, aku dah update gambar-gambar fotopages. Taruk gambar wedding Faiz & Irah, wedding Rush & Azlan and lastly, wedding Boy (jiran aku).