As I Promised...


Dari jauh pun buleh nampak dah stering aku!


Seriyes, sangat kontras giler kaler pembalut stering aku!


Anyway, this thing has some sentimental value for me because someone, who called me 'Sayang' and said 'I love you' when I felt sad due to her departure, gave to me almost two years ago at the airport together with a small little koala doll. Will keep it until it tear apart.

One New Shirt for the New Year 2008

I was at the office today when my upline approached me and suddenly told me that she's intending to buy me something as present. Naturally, she asked me about what I'd like to have.

I was a bit blur at that time. Especially when I got that kind of question. She suggested a few items to me, but I said, "I just bought all these stuffs. But can I have a brand new Raoul shirt?".

And she said,"Yes you can!". Yahoooooooooooooo!!

So we went to the OU Shopping Mall and searched for the Raoul shirt. Oh well, thank you so much Linda! Now dah berangan dah nak pakai baju Raoul for next year. Lalalalala...

The Red Leaves

You are at the top of the world
You view upwards, only looking forward
You are Red, you are great
You are the burning desire
You are the new breed of new era
You lead the way, you show me the way
You know nothing except going all the way
You are the breathe of the new life,
and you are the light and the promises of
New Life
Be different, because you are different
Be Red, because you are so great
Keep on growing, keep on reaching
Soon you will be the Tree
who shade the country.

Dec. 9th, 2007

Yesterday I graduated from AsiaWorks Training Leadership program. It began in July this year with Basic Course, followed by Advanced Course and I finally ended yesterday. There was a lot of cryings on my part because I feel so attached to my friends in Leadership Program. 3 months in LP really can do wonder to a stone cold heart.

My leadership program brought me far from what I usually do in my life. My LP pushed me to the horizon where I was afraid to go. My LP challenged me to face my harshest, darkest reality by going to Adelaide. There was a lot of bitter and sweet memories while I was with my LP110 group.

I will write about it once I have enough time to recap the memories with the group.

The poem above was penned down by the request of AsiaWorks Country Manager, Nina, to me because I asked her, how exactly I would know what path of my life should be. Again, this is another person who said that I should listen to my heart. When I read my poem to her, she kindly asked me to replace the word 'You' with 'I' and let me read it again.

I could only read half of the poem clearly. The rest was a bit murky because I could not hold my tears anymore.

She said to me once, "One day this country needs you. Your journey in LP has shown to us that you follow where your heart takes you and you take your fall with pride. You are the true spirit of Leadership Program. If one person tells you something, it could be a lie. But when many people in your LP are talking about the same thing about you, it cannot be a lie".

My LP Coordinator, May Phng, said, "Sometimes you wonder why you don't get support from people. The way I see it, you are so powerful, so strong that you face your challenges squarely. You don't need support from people. When you do it, you do it from the heart".

My senior in LP told me, "Be the person you are destined to be. Be the leader I (we) have been waiting for".

At that time, I feel very small. I feel very humble because of the way people look at me. Three months I allowed them to challenge my self beliefs about myself and this is the way my friends in LP look at me. Three months I let them criticized me openly, harshly and gently. Three months I let them pushed me to the direction I wanted to go. The way they hold me high and big to my beliefs, visions and goals in life. I feel loved, appreciated and acknowledged.

In the meantime, I want to record a message from my LP buddy, Saw Peng @i, in my blog so I will not forget it forever. She gave me the card on the way back to KL after we are officially announced as GLP (Graduate of LP).

"Hey Buddy,
I'm gonna miss you loads. You've been a great buddy, F@rid. Do you know how you could inspire the people around you if you choose to express your thoughts through your heart and not your head.
First round knowing you, you were a bit arrogant to admit defeat. But after some time, I came to realize you face challenges in a different light. You move on so quickly and because of this, there was no time for you mourn over your mishaps. Perhaps you do, but haven't seen the full version of You.
You are a Ninja Turtle!! Remember that :) show the softer side of you and it will bring you to wherever you want to be.
I want to acknowledge you for the care & love you have showered. I am really really gonna miss you. So when I am afraid, I will think of how courageous you are! Adelaide story's lived to tell man, :P!
Dear F@rid, Farewell & Good Luck. Live your contract, buddy!
Love,
Peng @i
"I am a trusting, courageous, loving woman"

Only me and LP 110 know what Ninja Turtle means! hehehehe.

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku kan selama ini?
Biar berputar utara selatan
Ku tak putus harapan, sedia setia.

Relaku mengejarmu seribu batu jauh lagi
Tapi benarkah kakiku kan tahan sepanjang jalan ini?
Biar membisu burung bersiulan
tenanglah gelombang lautan
Kumasih setia.

adakah engkau yakin...
ini Cinta?
adakah engkau pasti...
ini untuk selama-lamanya?

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku kan selama ini?
Biar berputar utara selatan
Ku tak putus harapan, sedia setia

Cool song. Nice song. I dig this song. Not because of the lyric, but merely because of its overall quality. Oh yeah, it's because it's a sappy song. Choyyy!!!

Anyway, lots of my close friends buzzed me and asked me about the Adelaide trip. And they asked me about how am I doing now. I'd say, I feel okay and I feel alrite. I don't live in guilt anymore. Moment passed and my life has a lot more to offer in future. But thank you anyway for asking. I am thankful to have such caring friends and thoughtful friends.

By the way, good news! I've got my car. It's not Toyota Camry because my loan application was rejected by 3 different banks and 1 credit house. Their reason is because I have no credit history. Okay, it's a valid reason (technically speaking!). However through a help of a friend, I managed to secure a loan and made a purchase of Proton Persona (hi-spec). The reason is simple - I can get the loan approved easily if my loan is anything below than RM100K and it's whole lot easier to secure a loan for a national car ie. Proton.

After driving the Persona for four days, I feel that the car is not that bad. My Persona comes with a GPS system which I don't really need it. So if anyone wants to buy it from me, I'll give it away at RM1,800 price (the real cost is RM2,000 in the specs list). It's metallic black. It's an automatic transmission (papa, I start to miss your blue ol' manual transmission Wira!). I enjoy the ride quite too much.

The built of the car is tough and it's spacious for a medium-sized car. I have not torn apart its plastic cover for the rear seats. Simply because nobody sits there yet.

Yes Ika, I don't feel much of excitement when I received the car on last Monday. But what made me happy on that day was because I drove my mom in my own car. Wohoooo, can't exactly describe how it feels like. But it does make me feel good. I opened the door for my mom and invited her to have a sit in my car and we drove to mamak near the Proton depot for minum-minum with my salesperson.

I promised to myself that this car is for papa. It's not really for me because I have a different idea of owning a car. I only purchased this car so that I can build my own credit history with approved loan. I am looking forward to drive CLK 240 next year. A car that I've been dreaming to have. Last time I changed my dream car to Camry because my friend in Adelaide prefers a 4-doors car, instead of two-doors like CLK. Nevermind about that since it was in the past.

For those who have intention to buy Persona, I suggest you better book now because Persona (hi-spec) takes about 7 months to be delivered to buyers. I am lucky because I pull some strings in Proton to get it delivered to me in a matter of 2 months only. Again, I'm blessed with many helpful friends.

Semalam papa tegur pasal stering aku. Dia tanya kenapa aku letak pembalut stering kereta tu. Nampak besar sangat. Dia kata, nampak macam tak kena. Or in my own words,"It looks dumb!". Tapi aku cakap memang aku nak letak kat situ sebab aku dapat benda ni as hadiah dari Adelaide. It's okay for me to have it there although it looks stupid or whatever. I treasure whatever gift I've received from her. Dah almost dua tahun aku simpan kot menatang tu. Nantilah one day aku amik gambar pembalut stering tu and letak kat blog aku.

Whatever it is, aku rasa puas hati lah dengan kereta Persona 1.6 tu. It may not be my dream car pun, but aku tak menyesal beli. Except part minyak....iskkk.