Time flies very fast. Without you knowing, it's now the celebration of Eidul Fitr, which marks the day of celebration after a month of fasting season. The irony is, I don't feel like celebrating it. Maybe I am thinking to much of the future and I don't live in the moment.

That's the issue.

I also notice that lately I had quite a few visits down to memory lane. Nostalgia moments in high schools and during the college days. Of course, some of them can bring smile to this tired and wasted look but some can also bring down one's motivation and conviction.

Anyhow, I vow to myself to be better in every aspect in my life after this Ramadhan. Emotionally, economically and physically. Noticed how I placed these priorities? Yes, emotion is the most important aspect of all.

Emotion leads human beings into their path of either success or destruction. Positive emotion can consist of many good feelings add up together and melt together in becoming a productive state for that person. That's what I want to do. I know the emotional state is dictated from within, not from the external stimuli. And of course, the best person to control my own emotion is my own.

I read in many articles highlighted that success is more than 90% controlled by the ability to control emotion and having disciplined mind in pursuing one's personal agenda. Another 10% would be means to achieve that personal agenda. So clearly, having positive and supportive emotional state is one crucial pillar in achieving my version of success.

And I need to remind myself that the time for thinking is over now. It's all about ACTION NOW! I want to have this sense of urgency build up in me. I realize time is never enough for anyone. Let alone for myself. But I also realize that my time on this earth is severely short. How short it is, the guess is good as anyone's. But this realization has brought me some distinction over my past behavior and traits.

That I tend to procrastinate. By that, I mean A LOT!

Procrastination is a root of evil, some might say. And I concur with them. Procrastination steals time from me. What an absurd realization??!! Most successful people have very short time period between the awareness of an idea and its action-oriented follow ups. And for me, I had noticed that I have had plenty of time to joke around about my never ending ideas about anything and everything. I begin to realize that it's a joke. What a tragedy!

Anyway, I don't want to get too much dragged on this melodramatic realization. All I know, the time is NOW. The URGENCY is NOW. The good feeling about all I want to do next, in this next 5 years, is roaming my head and makes me dizzy. The quicker I take action, the faster I will get there!

Good emotion leads to better judgement. Better judgement leads to good decision. Good decision will bring more quality in my personal economy. And good emotions leads me to betterment of my physical being. Amen!

Cerita Hal Kenduri Kahwin

Baru balik dari kenduri kawen member aku. Kita datang sorang, balik pun sorang. So bila duduk sambil makan tu, kepala asyik juga terkehel sebab asyik pusing kiri dan kanan cari geng. Bila dah ada dalam keadaan macam tu, memang terasa sangat keseorangannya walau pun kita duduk di tengah-tengah keramaian yang begitu ramai orang ada di keliling kita.

Tertanya juga pada diri sendiri; aku ni bila pulak gilirannya?

Tak lama lagi sampailah birthday aku yang ke 30. Haa, pejam celik dah sampai 30. Masih tak jumpa jodoh. Atau pun, mungkin jodoh tu ada depan mata cuma mata gagal melihat. Apa yang menghalang, aku pun tak tahu. Haiiyahhhh...

I got off this contract from this company A. Well, just put it as company A. At first I thought working for this company A would help me to get experience. Indeed it was an 'experience' for me. I learn almost everything 'not to do in running a company' from this company A.

So I wonder - one day when I become an employer, would I repeat the same mistakes as they did?

I am firm believer that everyone must be respected accordingly and respect must be earned. It's not meant to be dictated over social status nor financial status. If authority must be exercised through a series of contractual paper, I think that entity does not have an authority at all.

So I learn many things of what I should not do as prospect employer. Must keep that in mind. Must always learn. Must always ask. And most importantly, must respect and seek understanding first before be understood.

Lesson well learnt today and for the past 6 months.

Surprisingly I changed my mind. Maybe it's for the nth time. I decided to make this blog public again. Maybe it's time for me to make some real change in my mind set and thus, in my life.

THings are certainly changing fast. So must I. How about u?

By the way, today is someone's birthday. Happy birthday to you. As always, I wish and pray everyday that all the good things comes to you. Yes, I mean it, literally.

Hehehe, lama gila aku tak menulis. Padahal dalam kepala otak ni sebenarnya banyak benda yang nak dituliskan. Cuma acapkali aku ter miss peluang nak menulis sebab banyak sangat makan vitamin M. Berderet-deret ajer menda yang nak disemburkan, dibebelkan, digossipkan.


Semalam ada peluang jumpa member lama kat Penn State. Layan gebang and sembang, tapi mostly sekitar isu perniagaan kami. Walau pun dia masih lagi bekerja, tapi dia juga ada bergiat dalam perniagaan pertanian. Aku nampak tempat dia tu memang senang la nak bertani pasal banyak kos yang boleh dikurangkan berbanding dengan tempat aku. Maybe one day aku akan drop by tempat dia kat utara. Mana tau ada peluang sana sini.


So hari ni aku akan berniaga di tempat yang baru. Agak teruja, pada masa yang sama agak gabra jugak pasal tak pernah berniaga kat sini kan. Kira selambe beruk ajer bukak. Aim aku kalau dapat hasil jualan bersih dalam RM 200 satu malam, itu sudah kira bagus untuk permulaan. We'll see about that, kan?


So tu la dia menda-menda yang aku nak mengarutkan. Esok-esok aku sambung lagi.

It has been too long for me not to write anything. Not because I was running out of insights or ideas - i am just lacking the time to write. Or maybe lacking of motivation to write anymore.

Writing requires some tenacity. Writing requires some intellects. For those who hate writing, most likely he too will hate to think aloud. Something must be kept close to the chest. Anyway, it is not the case for me. Mama occasionally told me that I am too straight forward in expressing myself. Sometimes I just blurted right in front of anybody without giving much thought about what I intend to say.

Some people say, it's like giving a piece of my mind on the subject matters. Americans would say, i'm not politically correct when it comes to expressing myself. Oh well, I can be a little bit carried away when it comes to posing my arguments.

Anyway, it's gonna be 2 months more before my contract with this company ends. I do know that I learnt quite a bit from them and I am sure the knowledge I got and experienced while working with this company is useful for future. I am still contemplating whether I want to continue or not. I have my own plan after this.

I had a good meeting with Bad just now and we did touch on this issue. I was thinking of drop this whole thing once I am done with the contract and pursue my business full time. I can see its potential. Maybe I'm just scared a bit about the potential. This is like swimming in the blue ocean. Is it? Or is it purple ocean? Oh well, I don't know which ocean I should go. For all I know, i prefer to have my two feet on the ground.

Btw, we got RFQ from US for trading and RFQ from Pahang for our banana seedlings. Yeayyy, I hope more sales will come in! :D

I met a woman. She's 27. A stranger. But she shared a lot for a stranger.

She was married at the age of 20. At that time, she was working in KLIA as staff over there. Her husband was found courting her for betting reason. And she was under a spell. That was why she got married to the guy, according to her.

Now she's 27. She was divorced at 24. Throughout the marriage, she was beaten, abuse, insulted and ridiculed by her husband and his family as well. She has 3 daughters with her husband.

Her husband left her for another woman. One year after he was with the new wife, he left her just to get this woman again.

I pity her life. Men are bastards, sometimes. Of course not all men. Most of my guy friends are gentlemen. But I'm not happy with this situation.

Are we not humane when it comes to be real men?

I don't know. Then I ask her again, why did u get married in the first place with this jerk?

And a question to myself, Can I be a better person than this man if one day I have family and wife?

Anybody eat this?

Well, that was my second attempt to pitch for the RM 150,000 funding for software development. Hahahahaha..from all I care, I don't even see a chance to get the pre seed fund judging from the respond and also the non-verbal communication I observed when I did my presentation.

These people in the panel seems to have pre-conceived idea and pre-set mindset about whoever came and presented in front of them. There wasn't any spark in their faces. They are not beamed to see many people came and eager to pitch for the funds with ideas..doesn't matter how silly it is. Nonetheless, I still believe the presentation experience is a learning experience.

One quick note.

Tadi aku ada conversation dengan client aku. We spoke on issue about marriage and of course, he questioned why am I still single. Interesting question which opens up a lot of questions.

Anyway, the gist I got from the conversation is women are much attracted to men with financial stability. Without this stability, the women are having hard time to stay on with the guys. That explains why Zizie Ezzette is married to a married parliamentary member, Bung Mokhtar. Maybe he can make this gal 'melambung' kot???? Hahahaha.

For me it is very simple. Last time I used to give way too many to the woman I like. But now I prefer to keep it everything to myself. If I like her, I'll definitely tell he frankly. I don't want to waste my time or her time. And of course, at this age I'm particularly tired to deal with all the courting things. Time has passed very quick nowadays. I know that I'm slowly dying, either by the decaying molecules in my body or just by the decree of thy Lord Himself.

I guess that is the ultimate question where many single people need to answer...whether to get married or not to get married.

Welcome 2010

Alrite, the next thing I would put down here is my list of goals for 2010. For that, I need another a week to get them straight down to a paper. Paste it on the wall of my room. Then maybe I should check it again before 2010 ends.