Something Personal

In pursuing something big for yourself, you have to be square with who ever is in your way. Does it have to be that way? Do we have to be that stiff with our emotions because we want to achieve our goals so bad?

I know because I did that. And I did that to my mom.

Last week I had a fight with her. It wasn't like we had kungfu or karate kumite in the house. It was just an emotional argument happened at 3 am. I was tired coming home from our weekly business meeting. Yeah, I have a weekly meeting on Tuesday about our business project. It so happened that night the guard lost my driving license. Those guards should be shot to death. So I thought.

I felt very irritated when my mom asked me many questions. For God's sake it's 3 o'clock in the morning. The questions were meant to make me even more irritated. I tried to shut my mouth because I just wanted to go to bed. It had been a long day for me. But the pressure kept coming on. Finally I couldn't bear the pressure building up in myself and I burst them out through my damn mouth. Yeah..I made my mom cried. Worst, I cried too because I made my mom cried. I felt very frustrated.

I felt frustrated because nobody in the house appreciates of what I am doing now. Nobody gives me the support I need to pursue my dreams. My mother treated me like I'm 6 year-old kid with a body of 26 year-old man.

Now I feel more determined than ever. I want to prove that I will finish whatever I have started. But first thing first, I need to figure out how to get myself out from the house without burdening myself and others.