Satu Pengakuan

Beberapa hari lagi Aidilfitri. Beberapa ketika aku ada terfikir pasal aidilfitri yang aku sambut masa di Amerika. Aidilfitri yang paling membosankan masa aku berada dalam tahun dua. Orang lain sibuk di masjid, aku sibuk berlingkar di rumah Yao Neng. Aidilfitri yang paling meriah, masa tahun terakhir aku kot. Bagi aku, apa yang membuatkan Aidilfitri tu meriah ialah orang-orang yang disekeliling kau.

Bila bercakap tentang orang-orang yang bersekeliling....hmm, tak dapat tidak untuk bercakap pasal rasa keriangan. Rasa kegembiraan. Gembira kerana ada teman-teman di sekeliling. Gembira kerana ada orang yang sudi melihat apa yang kita buat, apa yang kita lalui. Saksi.

Bercakap pasal hal saksi, reminds me to this movie call Shall We Dance. Paradox. Two persons get together just to make sure he and she has a witness to each other's life. Not the ageless consensus of being together is actually for mutual love.

Maybe korang tak paham kot apa yang aku nak sampaikan. It's okay, not many people would understand my way of thinking.

I am wondering..when will I celebrate Aidilfitri with someone who is meaningful to my existence?

Even now, while performing the sunnah prayers, I ask The Boss to grant me my quiet wish; I need somebody. Someone who I am very comfortable with. I have my own flaws. Someone who looks me through my own flaws. Someone who I love to see her face regardless how shitty my day is. Someone who can tolerate my 'pushiness' attitude. Okay, I am an impatient person. If I want something, I want it fast. Willing to do anything in order to get what I want - fast.

Hahahaha..desperado eh? It's okay..I am not embarras to admit.

A dear friend told me before, he married a lady while at the same time, he still had a crush on his last girlfriend. He said, his love for his newly wedded wife wasn't full at that time. But now, he couldn't be much happier other than being with his wife. She may not be perfect, but she's for him. They both compliment each other.

Ahhhh..good for him. How about myself?

Kuharap sinar purnama hingga ke siang
Kuharapkan mimpi-mimpi bukan khayalan
Telah aku jelajahi seluruh benua
mencari pengertian..hidup yang sementara
Manusia beraneka ragam dan rupa
Ada yang jujur, ramai yang berpura-pura
Kusangka dalam ilmu dan pengetahuanku
Tapi ada waktu kuterkeliru
Kudambakan bukan sekadar yang dinamakan
kekasih yang menemani ke sana sini
Kudambakan sahabat dan teman setia
rela bersama...suka duka
Jadilah kau sahabatku kekasih dan teman
Hanya itu yang kuharapkan
Dalam susah, dalam senang
Kita seiringan
Semoga ikatan berkekalan.