She, For The Last Time

I've been keeping this card for a long time, since the day I left M'sia for the first time on August 11th, 1999. I've been holding on to this card like it's my own soul. Never let anything bad happens to it. But now, I decided to throw it away. I don't want to bring it home nor want to keep it anymore. My baggage is heavy enough, not to mention the emotional baggage as well.

Here how the card's content,

Assalamualaikum,
Dear Farid, congratulations coz you can further your study abroad. I really proud of you. The small prize is for your achievement and the other prize is for your birthday. If I am not mistaken, you will celebrate your 19th birthday this month, right? I hope you will like it.

I just want you to know that knowing you really gives me a lot of sweet memories. Before this there were no other guys who love like you do. Even the one who already passed away never love me like you did. Thanks for all that. I really appreciate it.

Tapi aku terkilan kerana selepas apa yang terjadi, kita tak serapat dulu. Dan itu terjadi adalah kerana silap aku sendiri yang cuba menjauhkan diri dari kau. Itu memang kesilapan besar yang telah aku lakukan. Aku akui memang aku terasa kehilangan kau, there no more emails and so on. But it's okay lah.

Aku tahu kau marah dengan aku kan? Aku tak pernah layan kau dengan baik. Not like what you did.

After this, I hope our relationship will be everlasting. I hope you can forget for what had happened. I am going to miss you.

Miss N A

Hmmmppp..that was long time ago. I was 19 and I was naive. She was my first crush. My huge crush. But still I could not forget her face when we met at the airport nor can't I forget her face when I first met her. Yes I was angry at her but never once raised my voice upon her. I guess that was my mistake. And my other mistake is, I thought I tried hard enough. Apparently, it wasn't enough. I should have tried harder.

But now, I am throwing out this card from her because I want to throw all the memories about her and never talk about her anymore in my life. Anymore.