Breakfast Thoughts

Yeah, again, as usual I walked to Pollock Commons to get my breakfasts. I don't usually do this, you know. Having a breakfast. Perhaps I am just fulfilling a request from a friend to eat properly. Anyway, while I was having breakfast by myself, my mind couldn't escape from one subject.

The subject is about my dad, or my papa, as I always call him.



Quite frankly, I don't know papa. I mean, I don't really know what he likes, what type of color does he like, or maybe, what kind of food does he enjoy eating. Heck, he never tells me how he actually met mummy and how they both ended up marrying to each other. Neither he tells us when is his birthday so we can celebrate his birthday and bring present for him. Unlike other friends' parents, they like to tell these stuffs to their children. The thought of rekindling the sweetest moments in their life and passing them on to their children. Papa doesn't do that. He doesn't do many things of which other daddies do, typically.

I saw once or twice of his wedding photos with him in light red baju melayu and red songket as 'samping', buried deep inside our old and termite-infested closet. I didn't see mummy in that photo. I didn't dare to ask him, when the wedding took place, how it was, who accompanied papa during the 'walimah'. All I know, papa brought us to one of the houses in a village behind the police barrack in Kuala Krai, to meet with his so called 'abang angkat'. At first I thought he must one of our relative. Apparently, he wasn't. I overheard his conversation with his 'brother', reminiscing the old time when he was a constable in Kuala Krai Police Station, talking about his wedding day and how his 'brother' was in charge in making the arrangement for that ceremony on his behalf since papa was an outsider.

Many of my friends claim papa is one cheerful old man. Hmm, for somehow, I doubt it. He is a man in between. He acts moderately. He laughs moderately. He talks moderately. But he has very good PR skill.

His smile brings emotion though. A good one. And that I know. When he smiles or laughs, he brings a pleasant feeling into the room. I can sense that. And somehow I can sense deep inside him is a reservoir of emotion - peaceful and deep. Only sometimes shaken by his children's action. God forbids if he gets angry, for all I know, he would never think twice to hit us. Along got once, same goes to Angah and Farah's too. But I never get one, even for a smack from him. No matter how worst I did.

For instance, I was called home last year because of the allegation claiming that I involved in opposition political activities while studying abroad. And, for having a fight with Angah early in the morning on the staircase 12 years ago. Angah got a slap from him but I didn't although I was the one who started the fight. Poor Angah! His face was swollen real bad after that and papa regretted his action after seeing what had happened to Angah's face. Hmm..I still have this guilt for letting Angah took the blow for me.

Papa likes kid very much. He adores all the little kids and I know, he misses the presence of little children in his house. All his children are grown ups right now. Well, not exactly all though. Farah is still in her 17s. In addition to that, none of us are married and therefore, fail to bring any grandchildren for him. Along is still working hard to improve his life so that he can buy Putrajaya mansion with his senior engineer's salary (Jaja, I really hope Along is not a gay..hahahaha). Angah is forking money for his wedding ceremony next year, tentatively. And me, still undecided and heartless in this subject matter. So, the only children who gets his pamper are the children who mummy babysits during the weekdays: Abang, Hakim and Aina.

Hmmm.. as I wrote in my previous entry, the more day goes by, the more my heart departs from State College and safely arrives in Taman Melur, Ampang. Hmm..and now I am looking forward to spending some quality time with papa, washing the car with him on Saturday morning or at least, help him cleaning up the living room or having supper with him at mamak's stall down in Taman Bukit Teratai.

Please people, pray for me as I am approaching my final exams in a few days. I want to graduate and go home, that's all I want. To be with my papa.