Slowly but surely...

I posted many pictures of me with my friends on my board, just right in front of my study table. The memories which I share with my buddies throughout the years of friendship slowly linger in my mind. I am not quite sure why I put myself in such melancholic state tonight albeit I know it won't be much beneficial for me to ponder upon them.

Slowly but surely I realize everyone of us is getting older. Certainly this means we are getting wiser. But, are we wise enough to steer our own life? Getting away from our parents' shadow is definitely one big task for us in order to identify ourselves as adults. Reminiscing to what Dolah had mentioned in our Alumni Sekolah Alam Shah yearbook or fondly known as ASAS amongts the SASsians, "Jadikan perpisahan ini sebagai satu titik tolak ke arah dimensi kecemerlangan pada zaman yang berikutnya", does indeed indicate that we are moving forward towards something. Something which is undefined in its nature.

Are we becoming more excellent compare to the last day we left high school? This is the question that I pose to myself many times in between 1999 until now. What have I achieved so far which I can hold to my chest in pride? I know Dolah now is pursuing his Master in Accounting, provided that he is an Assistant Lecturer in Multimedia University, Melaka (he wants to get his PhD before he reaches 30). Md. Ithnin is doing his Master in Information System in UiTM, as he has a position of Assistant Lecturer in Universiti Perguruan Sultan Idris, Tanjung Malim. Syed Zul is now an Assistant Manager at one of the construction sites owns by Peremba Construction Sdn Bhd, a leading construction company in Malaysia (rumours say Syed will be sent to Libya to assist Peremba's construction team there). So is Zamakhshary. Hafiz Zahri is now an executive in Telekom Malaysia and so does a few other SASsian friends; Ezly, Shamsulkhomar, Riduwan Zanin etc. Fadzlie aka Telur is now a Nuclear Science Consultant in one of the private companies in Kuala Lumpur. Shukry Khalid and Raja Syahrin are surely becoming trainee doctors in a few months from now, I suppose. Everyone has his own role or his own niche in this diversed society of Malaysia.

How about myself? How do I measure my own success compare to theirs? Do position, money or power come into account? Yes, I'd love to have power or authority. Nobody could be less desire to have authority vested upon them. Once a while I will ask myself, do I really want to be an engineer? Is this the profession which suits my own inner desire? Will this make me happy for my entire life?

I don't think so. So far, I am whining a lot about the fact that I am studying in Chemical Engineering major. I almost made up my mind to focus on polymer but then I realized if I channel all of my attention and skill unto one section of Chemical Engineering, it would restrict my own chances to work in any area. So, I abandoned that option and continued to be in general option.

Okay now what? Many things happened after that. The day I stepped my foot on this very soil, I realized I will be somebody. I want to be somebody. Someone who people will respect. Of course respect is something you need to earn, not to get it by force or influence it by using monetary role. Being a Muslim engineer will of course earn me a respect. But I want more. I want more than that. As I said earlier, I want power. I want the power to change. I want to be the agent of change (Dr. Mizan in PPP/ITM on the last day I was in PPP/ITM repeatedly reminded me to be agent of change). By God's willing I want to change the whole world. Then suddenly two persons, Ustaz Hashim and Ustaz Nasib came into my life last year and reminded me in fatherly manner, "Change yourself before you change the whole world. Then the world will change along with you". I was stunned. I quickly woke up from my dream.

They are very much true! Their advice come from years of cumulative experience and enhanced wisdom.

It is imperative for me to change myself and subsequently brings pride to myself so that people will look up at me and say, "This is the model we want for our future generation". Only by doing that, I will change the world. Slowly but surely, the process has begun. The wind of change is soaring wild and I definitely want to include myself in it. Do you want to join the wind of change as well? Come on...the more the merrier it will be! And it will be useful to you and your future generation.

Slowly but surely.