A Night to Remember

Last night I came home from somewhere feeling empty. I felt restless during the whole journey home. It was a serious hollowness crept into the abyss of my heart. I know why I felt that way but I wouldn’t disclose it here. Later that night I decided to entertain myself by watching movie alone in KLCC. My mind was still replaying the moments I had before right in front of my eyes. Yeah, the brain got the cue pretty clear.

I lost my focus on the road and almost got into an accident with Satria. I smashed a bit of her side mirror before I managed to pull the brake and stopped right at the curb of a busy road in KL. Geeezzz…I guess it wasn’t worth to get killed just by indulging myself in this gloomy feeling.

For the first time in my life, I made a change in my style. I pulled out my shirt off the slacks. I usually dress pretty conservative whenever I’m in public but not last night. I even unbuttoned my first button from the top. I wasn’t being myself which was good for me because if I were myself, I wouldn’t stop wallowing and I would make fool of myself in front of everybody.

I know sometimes we have to say no to certain things we really want in our life. Maybe it’s not the time yet or maybe it’s not meant to be. A dear friend told me once, God has delayed something to happen to you because it is a special moment for you. We savor that moment greatly because it was hard-earned.

And the best way to say I care for you is not through words but through action. A selfless act. Despite the hectic schedule and the exhaustion, I managed to make time for the event. Although it wasn’t requested but I still came following my conscience.

The best part of last night was to see that face again. The worst part last night was to walk away from the face and pretending it was alright when deep down in my heart, I know it wasn’t alright at all. Luckily I don’t have to show it in public. Slowly I’m becoming good at masquerading myself in public.

A wise man advised me once, “Don’t show your weakness to people”. That’s what exactly I did last night.