Almost One Year Ago

A year ago I wrote somewhere in my diary. I couldn't recall which sad episode in life I had which made me write this way. Anyway, it's good for me to review this because it teaches me to wake up from the sadness and smell the flowers of life out there.

Standing on the Edge
Novermber 13th, 2004

How would you feel when you stand at the edge, and can't do anything more to continue your journey? When you risk everything you have in chasing your dream? How about you feel helpless because you are stucked, get caught in situation you cannot get yourself out from it? You feel rage inside yourself. You feel angry. Dissappointed will be an understatement, either frustrated would not serve its true nature in defining the moment.

Building a bridge is what we are doing now. We build a bridge because we want to get to the other end of the bridge, looking for a new perspective and new insights. Or perhaps, looking for new relationship - to put it in perspective. But the bridge must be built from both sides. You cannot build a bridge from the middle and extend both sides to the riverbanks. It is ridiculous and not realistic at all.

After all, this is all a mere illusion and I get caught in this delusional moment. Everything is impossible.

Bitter is all I have now.